In a Canadian Canoe; The Nine Muses Minus One, and Other StoriesPain, Barry
General
In a Canadian Canoe; The Nine Muses Minus One, and Other Stories
Pain, Barry
English wit and humor
Now, next day another Gaul was going down the street when he saw two
goats being harnessed to a milk-cart. It at once occurred to him
that it would be as well to throw off the Roman yoke. So another
insurrection was started, and the Gallic chieftain who had no heart was
put in the forefront of the battle.
Just as the trumpets sounded for a charge, this Gallic chieftain
remembered that he had left his handkerchief in the tent, and went
to look for it in a hurry, and got himself disliked. But as the rest
of the tribe were mostly killed in the charge, he did not mind that
much. The survivors said: “Our noble chief has begun to be a coward.”
But he was not afraid of his wife, and used bad language in her
presence during mealtimes. One of the survivors went so far as to run
a lance through the place where the chieftain’s heart ought to have
been. The chieftain smiled, and said sarcastically that he was not an
umbrella-stand.
Death is connected with the stoppage of the heart’s action;
consequently this chieftain never died, and it is argued that during
the Syro-Phœnician attempt to----
* * * * *
Here there is a hiatus in the manuscript. A scribe has added a note in
the margin _pallido atramento_, “The chieftain is still alive. I have
seen him. I have written his name at the foot of the manuscript.” I
have looked there, and simply found the words “_Venditus iterum_.”
But the other day I bought a cigar which was all case and no inwards.
The tobacconist who sold it me said it was a Regalia Gallica; and he
looked as if he had been in this world a long time, and had seen the
wickedness of it. I simply mention this as a coincidence. There may be
nothing in it, like the cigar. But it is a curious case, if nothing
else--also like the cigar.
V.
A STORM ON THE BACKS; AND A STORY OF THREE.
I have often considered it as one of my misfortunes that I simply do
not know what fear is. As a boy I was so brave and bright that every
one loved me; in my manhood my courage appals me. I feel that one day
it will carry me too far.
As I climbed hand-over-hand up the side of the _Zeitgeist_ at the
Silver Street Docks, an old, old sailor stepped up to me. “Young
stranger,” he said, “you will not attempt to make King’s Bridge on such
a day as this? It would be madness. The boldest of us dare not.”
“Avaunt!” I cried; “where honour calls I follow. England expects. _Per
ardua ad astra._”
He turned away to hide his emotion. I gave him my hand, which he wrung
and knocked twice. There was no answer.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account