In a Canadian Canoe; The Nine Muses Minus One, and Other StoriesPain, Barry
General
In a Canadian Canoe; The Nine Muses Minus One, and Other Stories
Pain, Barry
English wit and humor
Thomas Pigge, my old college friend, had sent me a stall-ticket for the
play. It was not often that I went to a theatre at all; and I had never
sat in the stalls before. Pigge said in his letter that he had been
meaning to come with me, but had been prevented by a sprained ankle.
I found afterwards that this was quite untrue. Pigge, as a matter of
fact, had bought the ticket by a mistake. He had been told that _The
Dark Alley_ was having a great success. About a week afterwards he saw
the advertisement of _Fair Alice_, and as his memory is notoriously
weak, he confused the two plays, and ordered a ticket for the wrong
one. Soon afterwards he discovered what he had done, and learning that
_Fair Alice_ was a dismal failure, he offered his ticket first to his
aunt and then to his tailor, both of whom refused it. It was then--and
only then--that he sent it on to me. I do not think this was very
nice of Thomas Pigge. I half suspected something of the kind at the
time, and I was careful to make the few words of thanks that I sent him
rather cold. I do not suppose he noticed it.
When I had dressed for the evening, I rang the bell--partly to tell
my landlady that she need not sit up for me, but also with the
intention of letting her see that, although I lived in inexpensive
lodgings, I was familiar with the mode of life of English gentlemen.
She surveyed me admiringly, and asked me if I would like a flower for
my button-hole. “No, thank you,” I said, with a smile: “they are not
worn.” I noticed with pleasure that these few authoritative words had
their proper effect. However, as I was walking down the Strand on my
way to the theatre I saw a man, in evening dress, who was wearing
a rose in his coat, and thinking that it would be safe to follow
his example, I spent sixpence on a gardenia with some maidenhair.
The circumstance would be trivial were it not for its bearing on
after-events.
I cannot say that I enjoyed the piece altogether. The house was by
no means full. The few young men in the stalls seemed mostly to know
one another, and none of them knew me. The two who came in after me
had those hats that shut up; mine was an ordinary silk hat that I had
worn for a year. This fact served to make me feel more lonely. My fine
sensibilities render me peculiarly liable to this sort of thing; but
they also do me good service by making me notice for imitation slight
shades in the manners of the best people, which those of a coarser mind
entirely miss. For instance, I had observed that the habitués of the
stalls generally look a little careless,--not reckless precisely,--but
with an air of taking everything for granted. I copied this expression
throughout the evening.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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