In a Canadian Canoe; The Nine Muses Minus One, and Other StoriesPain, Barry
General
In a Canadian Canoe; The Nine Muses Minus One, and Other Stories
Pain, Barry
English wit and humor
And suddenly the poor Greek boy, with the ghost of an old beauty
haunting his dull eyes and scarred cheeks, looked up, because he was
conscious of the presence of a deity; and there before him sat an old
gentleman in a silk hat, a frock-coat worn shiny under the fore arm,
pepper-and-salt trousers, with a pen stuck at the back of his ear.
“I perceive a divine fragrance,” the boy said. The fragrance was
gin-and-water, but he knew it not. “And about thy neck there is
a circle of brightness.” In this he was correct, because the old
gentleman was wearing an indiarubber dickey covered with luminous
paint, which saves washing and makes it possible to put in a stud in
the dark. “And thy dress is not like unto mine. It cannot be but that
thou art some god. And at the right time art thou come; for my heart
is heavy, and none but a god can comfort me. And due worship have I
ever rendered to the gods, but they love me not, and they have taken
all things from me; and only my twin-brother is left, and he keeps the
sheep in Eubœa. And what name dost thou most willingly hear?”
“Allow me,” said the old gentleman, and produced a card from his
pocket, handing it to the boy. On it was printed:--
THE PROLEPTICAL CASHIER.
(_Agent for Zeus & Co., Specialists in Punishments._)
“The tongue is barbarian,” said the boy, “and thy spoken words
are barbarian, and yet I understand them; and now I know that the
gods are kinder to me, because already I have greater wisdom than
my fathers, and, perhaps, somewhat greater remains. Give to me, O
cashier, the power to stay this pestilence.”
“For a young ’un,” said the cashier, “that’s pretty calm, seeing
that I _made_ that pestilence. I just want to go into your little
account. Your great-grandpapa, my boy, incurred a little debt, and
Zeus & Co. want the thing settled before they dissolve partnership.
They’ve just taken those two lives.” He touched the body of the boy’s
father lightly with his foot. “They’ve taken your beauty and your
memory. How sweet the girls used to be on you, my lad! but you can’t
recollect it, and you won’t experience it again. You _are_ a bad
sight. Now we shall just kill your brother, and give the sheep the
rot, and then the thing will be square. Now then, it’s a hot night,
and you’d better burn these two. I’ll show you how to do it on the
cheap, without paying for it. As long as Zeus & Co. are paid I don’t
care about the rest.”
The boy sat dazed, and did not speak.
“There’s a rich man built a first-class pyre twenty yards from your
tent. They’ve gone to fetch his dead daughter to burn on it. We’ll
collar it before they get back. I’ll take the old man, because he’s
the lightest. You carry your brother. He was a hoplite, wasn’t he,
one of them gentlemen that do parasangs? Oh, I know all about it.”
Still the boy did not speak. They took up the two bodies, passed out
of the tent, and laid their burden on the pyre.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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