In a Canadian Canoe; The Nine Muses Minus One, and Other StoriesPain, Barry
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In a Canadian Canoe; The Nine Muses Minus One, and Other Stories
Pain, Barry
English wit and humor
There were two men standing near to Bill. One of them was a very young
and very satirical carpenter, with a foot-rule sticking out of his
coat-pocket. “So that’s a mermaid!” he remarked. “Yer call that a
mermaid--oh!--indeed, a mermaid--oh, yes!”
“Seems to me,” said the other man, middle-aged, cadaverous, and
dressed in rusty black, “that it’s a sight more like a dead byeby.”
“Well, you _ought_ to know,” replied the satirical carpenter, grinning.
Bill heard this. So in that basement flat in Pond Buildings, Bill’s
home, there was something lying quite still and waiting for him, to
frighten him. He had never thought what a dead baby would be like. His
mind began to work in flashes. The first flash reminded him of some
horrible stories which his red-haired, vehement aunt had told him, to
terrify him into being good. He had objected at the close of one story
that dead people could not walk about.
“You don’t know,” his aunt had replied, “nobody knows, what dead people
can do.” In the second flash he imagined that he had gone home, had
been lectured by his aunt, and beaten by his father, and had cried
himself to sleep. He would wake up at night, when all was quiet--he
felt sure of it--and the room would not be quite dark. He would see
by the white moonlight a horrible, yellow, waxy thing crawling across
the floor. It would not go to the right or to the left, but straight
towards him. It would be his dead baby sister, and it would have a face
like the face of the mermaid, and it would stare at him. He would be
unable to call out. It would come nearer and nearer, and at last it
would touch him. Then he would die of fright.
No, he would not go home, not until the dead baby had been taken away.
As the audience crowded out through the narrow doorway, Bill touched
the man in shabby black:
“Please, sir, ’ow long is it afore they bury dead babies?”
The man stared at him searchingly. “What do yer want to know that for?
Depends on the weather partly, and on the inclinations of the bereaved
party. ‘Soon as possible’ ’s allus my advice, but they let it go for
days frequent.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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