“Nothing—no,” he said. “It is simply with me again. On lifting my eyes
from a book, or turning my head, I see it as usual, looking at me, and
then it remains, as before, for its appointed time. I have never told so
much and so minutely before to any one.”
I perceived that he was agitated, and looking like death, and he
repeatedly applied his handkerchief to his forehead; I suggested that he
might be tired, and told him that I would call, with pleasure, in the
morning, but he said:
“No, if you don’t mind hearing it all now. I have got so far, and I
should prefer making one effort of it. When I spoke to Dr. Harley, I had
nothing like so much to tell. You are a philosophic physician. You give
spirit its proper rank. If this thing is real—”
He paused, looking at me with agitated inquiry.
“We can discuss it by-and-by, and very fully. I will give you all I
think,” I answered, after an interval.
“Well—very well. If it is anything real, I say, it is prevailing,
little by little, and drawing me more interiorly into hell. Optic
nerves, he talked of. Ah! well—there are other nerves of communication.
May God Almighty help me! You shall hear.
“Its power of action, I tell you, had increased. Its malice became, in a
way aggressive. About two years ago, some questions that were pending
between me and the bishop having been settled, I went down to my parish
in Warwickshire, anxious to find occupation in my profession. I was not
prepared for what happened, although I have since thought I might have
apprehended something like it. The reason of my saying so, is this—”
He was beginning to speak with a great deal more effort and reluctance,
and sighed often, and seemed at times nearly overcome. But at this time
his manner was not agitated. It was more like that of a sinking patient,
who has given himself up.
“Yes, but I will first tell you about Kenlis, my parish.
“It was with me when I left this place for Dawlbridge. It was my silent
travelling companion, and it remained with me at the vicarage. When I
entered on the discharge of my duties, another change took place. The
thing exhibited an atrocious determination to thwart me. It was with me
in the church—in the reading-desk—in the pulpit—within the communion
rails. At last, it reached this extremity, that while I was reading to
the congregation, it would spring upon the open book and squat there, so
that I was unable to see the page. This happened more than once.
“I left Dawlbridge for a time. I placed myself in Dr. Harley’s hands. I
did everything he told me. He gave my case a great deal of thought. It
interested him, I think. He seemed successful. For nearly three months I
was perfectly free from a return. I began to think I was safe. With his
full assent I returned to Dawlbridge.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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