On this account he was haled before the disciplinary committee of the faculty. Litton happened to be on that committee. Teed made the best fight he could. He showed himself a Greek--in argument at least--and, like an old sophist, he tried to prove, first, that he was not on the campus with the girl and never had spooned with her; second, that if he had been there and had spooned with her it was too dark for them to be seen; and third, that he was engaged to the girl, anyway, and had a right to spoon with her. The accusing witness was a janitor whom Teed had played various jokes on and had neglected to appease with tips. Teed submitted him to a fierce cross-examination; forced him to admit that he could not see the loving couple and had identified them solely by their voices. Teed demanded the exact words overheard; and, as often happens to the too-ardent cross-examiner, he got what he asked for and wished he had not. The janitor, blushing at what he remembered, pleaded: "You don't vant I should say it exectly vat I heered?" "Exactly!" Teed answered in his iciest tone. "Vell," the janitor mumbled, "it vas such a foolish talk as--but--vell, ven I come by I hear voman's voice says, 'Me loafs oo besser as oo loafs me!'" Teed flushed and the faculty sat forward. "Den I hear man's voice says,'Oozie-voozie, mezie-vezie--' Must I got to tell it all?" "Go on!" said Teed, grimly; and the old German mopped his brow with anguish and snorted with rage: "'Mezie-vezie loafs oozie-voozie bestest!'" The purple-faced members of the faculty were hanging on to their own safety-valves to keep from exploding--all save Professor Litton, who felt that his hearing must be defective. Teed, fighting in the last ditch, said: "But such language does not prove the identity of the--er--participants. You said you knew positively." The janitor, writhing with disgust and indignation, went on: "Ven I hear such nonsunse I stop and listen if it is two people escapet from de loonatic-houze. And den young voman says, 'It doesn't loaf its Fannie-vannie one teeny-veeny mite!' And young man says, 'So sure my name is Lennie Teedie-veedie, little Fannie Newman iss de onliest gerl I ever loafed!'" The cross-examiner crumpled up in a chair, while the members of the faculty behaved like children bursting with giggles in church--all save Litton, who had listened with increasing amazement and now leaned forward to demand of the janitor: "Mr. Kraus, you don't mean to say that two of our students actually disgraced this institution with conversation that would be appropriate only to a nursery?" Mr. Kraus thundered: "De talk of dose stoodents vould disgrace de nursery! It vas so sickenink I can't forget ut. I try to, but I keep rememberink Oozie-voozie! Mezie-vezie!" Mr. Kraus was excused in a state of hydrophobic rage and Teed withdrew in all meekness.