I watched--how I watched!--for the slightest of her unconscious
betrayals; and, of course, by dint of watching I was able to find a
thousand that presently vanished again. I drew trifling tremendous
conclusions from the merest nothings. She could not make a gawky,
captivating little movement but I would found something upon it, not a
pretty coltish gesture but I had my inference to draw. The smile,
perhaps, where lately the laugh would have been--the little check of
recollection, even as she was perching herself with a tomboyish swing on
the edge of a table, that she "was grown-up now"--slight little
ceremoniousnesses, stilted little phrases and momentary forgettings
again--I missed not one of these. My lovely, lovely flapper! Did you
know that you were twenty different creatures in a week, each beyond
words adorable until another swelling nodule yielded and allowed a peep
of a yet inner tender and rosy heart?
Of course I see now that I was far too clever in all this. I had, in
fact, taken the course that was least of all likely to tell me what I
wanted to know. For, as a face seen daily shows no change and yet grows
relentlessly older, so, because of my watching, she changed under my
eyes and my eyes did not tell me she had changed. I have had in my time
various things to say about "woman's intuition." I, like the rest of us,
have set half of it down as guessing and the other half (the half that
events falsify) as a convenient forgetfulness. Well, I hope I make
amends when I admit now that in all this I owed my final enlightenment
to a woman, and to the woman to whom I would least of all have been
indebted--to Miss Windus.
It was on a Friday evening that this enlightenment came to me. Fridays
were ever a pain to me, because of the three whole days that must
elapse--five if she failed to appear on the Monday evening--before I
could see Evie again. Believe me, the last minutes of those Friday
evenings always cost me dearly in emotion; and in order that I might
make the most of them I had some time before discontinued a former habit
of mine--that of working in the senior students' classroom. By so doing
I had forestalled any remarks on the fact that I was frequently to be
found in the same room as Evie. And even then I knew I was lucky to
escape Miss Levey's Hebrew intensiveness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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