"Yes, that's it," said Jimmieboy. "Could you tell me where to get it?" "I could; but, really," returned the major, "I'm very much afraid I'd better not, unless you'll promise not to pay any attention to what I say." "I don't see what good that would do," said Jimmieboy, a little surprised at the major's words. "What's the use of your saying anything, if I am not to pay any attention to you?" "I'll tell you if you'll sit down a moment," was the major's reply, upon which he and Jimmieboy sat down on a log at the road-side. The major then recited his story as follows: "THE MAJOR'S MISFORTUNE. When I was born, some years ago, The world was standing upside down; Pekin was off in Mexico, And Paris stood near Germantown. The moon likewise was out of gear. And shone most brilliantly by day; The while the sun did not appear Until the moon had gone away. Which was, you see, a very strange, Unhappy way of doing things, And people did not like the change, Save clods who took the rank of kings. For kings as well were going wrong, And 'stead of crowns wore beaver hats, While those once mean and poor grew strong; The dogs e'en ran from mice and rats. The Frenchman spoke the Spanish tongue, The Russian's words were Turkestan; And England's nerves were all unstrung By cockneys speaking Aryan. Schools went to boys, and billie-goats Drove children harnessed up to carts. The rivers flowed up hill, and oats Were fed to babies 'stead of tarts. With things in this shape was I born. The stars were topsy-turvy all, And hence it is my fate forlorn When things are short to call them tall; When thing are black to call them white; And if they're good to call them bad; To say 'tis day when it is night; To call an elephant a shad. And when I say that this is this, That it is that you'll surely know; For truth's a thing I always miss, And what I say is never so." "Poor fellow!" cried Jimmieboy. "How very unpleasant! Is that really a true story?" "No," returned the major, sadly. "It is not true." And then Jimmieboy knew that it was true, and he felt very sorry for the major. "Never mind, major," he said, tapping his companion affectionately on the shoulder. "I'll believe what you say if nobody else does." "Oh, don't, don't! I beg of you, don't!" cried the major, anxiously. "I wouldn't have you do that for all the world. If you did, it would get us into all sorts of trouble. If I had thought you'd do that, I'd never have told you the story." "Very well," said Jimmieboy, "then I won't. Only I should think you'd want to have somebody believe in you."