"Oh, no, I guess not," said the major, getting red in the face, for he recognized, as Jimmieboy did not, the firm, steady tread of the returning soldiers whom he had told Jimmieboy the Quandary had annihilated. "It's only the drum of your ear you hear," he added. "You know you have a drum in your ear, and every once in a while it begins its rub-a-dub-dub just like any other drum. Oh, no, you don't hear anybody coming. Let's take a walk into the forest here and see if we can't find a few pipe plants. I think I'd like to have a smoke." "Why, you naughty major!" cried Jimmieboy, shaking his arm, which his companion had taken, free from the major's grasp. "You've been telling me a great big fib, because there are the soldiers coming back again." "What!" ejaculated the major, in well-affected surprise. "Well, I declare! So they are. Dear me! Why, do you know, general, that is the most marvelous cure I ever saw in my life. To think that all those men whom I saw not an hour ago lying dead on the field of battle, all ready for the Quandary's luncheon, should have been resusitated in so short a time, as--" "Halt!" roared Jimmieboy, interrupting the major in a most unceremonious fashion, for the soldiers by this time had reached a point in the road directly opposite where he was sitting. The soldiers halted. "Break ranks!" cried Jimmieboy, after the corporal had told him the proper order to give next. The soldiers broke ranks, and in sheer weariness threw themselves down on the soft turf at the side of the road--all except the corporal, who at Jimmieboy's request came and sat down at the general's side to make his report. "This is fine weather we are having, corporal," said the major, winking at the subordinate officer, and trying to make him understand that the less he said about the major the better it would be for all concerned. "Yes," returned the corporal. "Better for sleeping than for military duty, eh, major?" Here the major grew pale, but had the presence of mind to remark that he thought it might rain in time for tea. "There's something behind all this," thought Jimmieboy; "and I'm going to know what it all means." Then he said aloud, "You have had a very speedy recovery, corporal." Here the major cleared his throat more loudly than usual, blushed rosy red, and winked twice as violently at the corporal as before. "Did you ever hear my poem on the 'Cold Tea River in China'?" he asked. "No," said the corporal, "I never did, and I never want to." "Then I will recite it for you," said the major. "After the corporal has made his report, major," said Jimmieboy. "It goes this way," continued the major, pretending not to hear. "Some years ago--'way back in '69--a Friend and I went for a trip through China, That pleasant land where rules King Tommy Chang, Where flows the silver river Yangtse-Wang-- Through fertile fields, through sweetest-scented bowers Of creeping vinous vines and floral flowers."