In Convent Walls: The Story of the DespensersHolt, Emily Sarah
History
In Convent Walls: The Story of the Despensers
Holt, Emily Sarah
Great Britain -- History -- Edward II, 1307-1327 -- Fiction; Historical fiction
"We renounce for Him that which He demandeth of us." Margaret's voice
was low and sorrowful now. "Ay, there be times when He holdeth out His
hand for the one dearest earthly thing, and calls us to resign either it
or Him. Blessed are they that then, howsoever they shrink and faint,
yet love Him more than it, and brace their will to give it up to Him.
To them that so do, Annora, He giveth Himself; and He is better than any
earthly thing. `_Quid enim mihi est in caelo? et a Te quid volui super
terram_?' [Psalm 73, verse 25] But it seems to me that we ought to
beware of renouncing what He does not ask of us. If we are in doubt,
then let us draw the line on the safe side,--on His side, not on the
side of our inclinations. Yet of one thing am I sure--that many a woman
mortifies her graces instead of her sins, and resigns to God that which
He asks not, keeping that which He would have."
"Mortify graces!" I cried. "O Margaret! how could we?"
"I think thou wouldst, Sister, if thou hadst refused to kiss me," she
replied with an amused smile.
"But kisses are such very carnal things," said I. "Mother Ada always
says so. She saith we read of none of the holy Apostles kissing any
body, save only Judas Iscariot."
"Who told her so? Doth she find it written that they did not kiss any
body? Annora, I marvel if our Lord kissed not the little children. And
I am sure the holy patriarchs kissed each other. I do not believe in
trying to be better than God. I have noted that when man endeavours to
purify himself above our Lord's example, he commonly ends in being
considerably less good than other men."
"I wish we might love each other!" I said with a sigh. And I am very
much afraid I kissed her again. I do not know what Mother Ada would
have said.
"I do not wish we might!" said Margaret, sturdily. "I do, and I will."
"But if we should make idols of each other!" said I.
"I shall not make an idol of thee," answered my sister, again in that
low sad tone. "I set up one idol, and He came to me, and held out His
pierced hands, and I tore it down from over the altar, and gave it to
Him. He is keeping it for me, and He will give it back one day, in the
world where we need fear no idol-making, nor any sin at all. Annora,
thou shalt hear my story."
At that moment I looked up, and saw Mother Alianora's eyes wide open.
"Do you lack aught, dear Mother?" I asked.
"No, my children," she answered gently. "Go on with thy tale, Margaret.
The ears of one that will soon hear the harps of the angels will not
harm thee."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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