Meek waited first a few moments, then a little longer--and still
longer. Then he went out to the passage, put on his coat and hat, told
the servant in the kitchen that he was obliged to leave; and left many
messages for them.
Sigrid looked for them in the rooms, knocked at the door of the office,
could get no answer, she listened and at last opened the door. Kallem
was lying on the sofa, Ragni kneeling beside him close up to him.
Sigrid announced very quietly that the dinner was ready and that Dr.
Meek had gone away. No one answered, no one looked up.
Hitherto Kallem and Ragni had always considered that the day when Ragni
sailed for America was the worst they had ever gone through; both in
their letters and in speaking of it they had said that they felt as
though he must die. But death is different; it is not like anything
else. They learned to know that now.
After that day there came a time full of hopeless struggles, speechless
despair, and tenderest but joyless love. Ragni had various matters "to
arrange," which she quietly set about doing; she had a good deal too to
write, and whenever she was able she was thus occupied. She wrote, then
scratched out; the whole thing, notwithstanding all her work, proved to
be a very short affair. But as long as she was taken up with what she
had set herself to get done, she really seemed tolerably well; Kallem
was quite surprised.
He himself had lost all courage. He saw the worst before him. As long
as he could he shrank from examining her expectoration; ... he knew
beforehand that he would find tubercular bacilli there--that enemy, to
fight against which he had spent both fortune and life. And now it had
conquered him in his own house. But one day he was obliged to do
it--and with the expected result. He did not pace up and down the
laboratory, neither did he weep nor wring his hands. He only tried
whether it were possible to think without her; but it ended always by
his thinking of her only. From the hour they first met--all her little
ways, the most trifling proofs of her charm and talents, her failings
and her silent poetical love, he lived all over again in equal joy and
grief; it was all just as dear to him, and just as impossible to part
with; countless incidents full of humour, warmth, fear, sense of
beauty, devotion; they all followed him about like so many eyes. Where
could he go to, what more could he possibly find to do? She was with
him in all his work. Her portrait, taken in the third year of her stay
in America, was standing on the edge of the stove; it had been sent to
him originally that he might see what effect the progress of her
intellectual development had produced in her face and eyes, a joyful
confirmation of all he had predicted when he sent her over there. Now,
as always, the eyes of the portrait seemed to seek his; during that
time of waiting, their smile had cheered and encouraged him; what had
it not been for him--that portrait? And now there came pouring in on
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