Once before in his young life had Ole Tuft gazed down into a bottomless
abyss. It was on a winter's day, as he stood by his father's grave and
heard the dull sound of the frozen earth falling upon the coffin; the
air was thick with driving mist, and the sea was black as pitch.
Whenever he was in trouble his thoughts flew back to that day; and now
it seemed as if he were standing there again, and heard the mournful
church bells toll. Just as the noise on the stairs and along the
passages had ceased, the last stray loiterer gone in, the last door
been shut--complete quiet suddenly--then, through this empty silence,
he heard a bell, ding-dong, and in fancy saw himself at the little
pine-wood church by the shore. How they creaked and rustled in the
wind, those long-armed, leafless birches by the wall, and the ancient
fir-tree at the gate; the clanging of the bells, harsh and shrill,
floating in the air, and the dull thud of the earth on the coffin, made
a life-long impression on him; and his mother's ceaseless weeping--she
had kept it all back until now, had made no sound, neither by the sick
man's bedside, nor even when he was carried away in his coffin; but
now, suddenly, the tears gushed forth--ah, so bitterly.... O father,
mother! Mother, father! And he, too, burst into tears.
This was sufficient reason for his not following the other boys in; he
would never go back to school again. He could not face any of them
after what had happened, he would have to leave the town; in a couple
of hours it would be known everywhere, they would all be asking
questions, and staring and laughing at him. And now, too, all his hopes
and intentions for the future had been profaned; what was the use of
studying any more; nor would he go to any other town, only home, home,
home.
But if he stood there much longer one of them would be sent down to
fetch him; he ought to get away at once. But not home to his aunt, or
he would have to tell her everything; and not out by the big gates and
down the principal street, for there were so many people who would see
how he was crying. No, he must make his way to the little hiding-place
that Josephine had made for him, and through which she helped him out
every afternoon, so that the other boys might not see him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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