I saw myself suddenly the centre of attention, the forlorn hope of a desperate emergency, my own insignificant speeches handed over to any one who could learn them, and I storming through Zara's lines to the admiration and wonder of the school. The ease with which I sacrificed Mary Orr to this ambitious vision is pleasing now to contemplate; but I believe I should have welcomed the Bubonic plague, with the prospect of falling its victim the next day, to have realized my dreams. "One crowded hour of glorious life Is worth an age without a name." It was a pity that none of this dramatic fervour found expression in my own rôle, which, though modest, was not without its possibilities. But I was ardent only in imagination, dramatic only in my dreams. When it came to words, I was tame and halting; when it came to gestures, I was awkward and constrained. In vain Madame Rayburn read and re-read me my lines, which, in her clear, flexible voice, took on meaning and purpose. In vain she sought to impress upon me my own especial characteristics,--a slavish spitefulness and servility. It was my privilege to appear in the first scene, and to make the first speech of any importance,--to strike, as I was told, the keynote of the play. The rising curtain revealed Ayesha (Julia Reynolds) in her father's palace; Lilly and I in attendance. _Ayesha._ Send hither Inez. _Lilly._ (Her one great effort.) The Christian slave? _Ayesha_ (impatiently). Is there another Inez in the household? You may both retire. Obediently we bowed and retired; but on the threshold I remarked to Lilly in a bitter undertone, audible only to the house: "Ay! ay, we may retire. And yet I think her noble kinsmen would deem our songs and tales better amusement for a winter's eve than all these whispered controversies on the Christian faith that last sometimes the whole night through. I've overheard them. But wait until Zara returns." "Try and say those last words threateningly," Madame Rayburn would entreat. "Remember you are going to betray Ayesha's secret. '_Wait_ until Zara returns.' And you might clench your right hand. Your _right_ hand. No, no, don't raise it. Julia, if you giggle so, I shall never be able to teach the children anything. You embarrass and confuse them. Try once more: '_Wait_ until Zara returns.' Now enter Inez. 'Lady, you sent for me.'"