American essays; Convents; Eden Hall (Torresdale, Pa.); Pennell, Elizabeth Robins, 1855-1936; Repplier, Agnes, 1855-1950
I had not imagination enough to grasp the importance of a candle more
or less upon the altar. It was useless to appeal to my love for the
Blessed Virgin. I loved her so well and so confidently, I had placed
my childish faith in her so long, that no doubt of her sympathy ever
crossed my mind. My own mother might side with authority. Indeed, she
represented the supreme, infallible authority, from which there was no
appeal. But in every trouble of my poor little gusty life, the Blessed
Mother sided with me. Of that, thank Heaven! I felt sure.
This month my path was darkened by a sudden decision on Elizabeth's
part that our candle should not be once extinguished. Elizabeth, to
do her justice, did not often incline to virtue; but when she did,
there was a scant allowance of cakes and ale for any of us. She never
deviated from her chosen course, and she never fully understood the
sincere but fallible nature of our unkept resolutions. I made my usual
frantic, futile effort to follow her lead, with the usual melancholy
failure. Before the first week was over, I had come into collision
with authority (it was a matter of arithmetic, which always soured
my temper to the snapping point); and the sixth of May saw five
candles only burning at the veiled Madonna's feet. I sat, angry and
miserable, while Madame Duncan, who had charge of the altar, lit the
faithful five, and retired with a Rhadamanthine expression to her
stall. Elizabeth, at the end of the bench, looked straight ahead, with
an expression, or rather an enforced absence of expression, which I
perfectly understood. She would not say anything, but none the less
would her displeasure be made chillingly manifest. Mass had begun.
The priest was reading the Introit, when Marianus lifted a roving
eye upon the Blessed Virgin's altar. It was not within his province;
he had nothing to do with its flowers or its tapers; but when did
generous mind pause for such considerations? He saw that one candle,
a candle with a drooping scarlet ribbon, was unlit; and, promptly
rising from his knees, he plunged into the sacristy, reappeared with
a burning wax-end, and repaired the error, while we held our breaths
with agitation and delight. Madame Duncan's head was lowered in seemly
prayer; but the ripple of excitement communicated itself mysteriously
to her, and she looked up, just as Marianus had deftly accomplished his
task. For an instant she half rose to her feet; and then the absurdity
of re-attacking the poor little red candle seemed to dawn on her (she
was an Irish nun, not destitute of humour), and with a fleeting smile
at me,--a smile in which there was as much kindness as amusement,--she
resumed her interrupted devotions.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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