He went to the large closet, unlocked a drawer, and took out several
dainty-looking letters, that diffused a sweet perfume through the room.
Julie read one after the other, while he threw himself down on the sofa
again and stared at the ceiling. The letters were written in a regular,
delicate, clear hand, and in a style which might be taken as a model of
diplomatic art. There were no traces of mere declamation, of
complaining or accusing. The writer had resigned herself to accept an
unhappy fate, for she felt herself too weak and not cold-hearted enough
to take up the battle with him: a battle in which the man to whom she
had given all stood opposed to her. This she could prevail upon herself
to do, for it was only her own happiness that she was sacrificing. But
she could never be brought to give up her claim to her child. The day
might come when the longing for a mother's love might awaken in the
poor child's heart. Then no one should have it in his power to say to
her: "Your mother has no heart for you; she has given you over to
strangers." Upon passages like this, which were repeated in each
letter, especial care had been bestowed, reminding one, here and there,
of the stage, and the last rhetorical flourish just before the curtain
falls. The last sheet, which had been received only a few days before,
concluded as follows:
"I know all, all that you would so carefully conceal from me. It is not
only your wish to have done with the past once and forever, and to give
me back my freedom--for, according to your idea of my character, it
would cost me no effort whatsoever to live as if all were at an end
between us, especially as I do not bear your name on the stage. No, I
know what it is that not only makes you wish for a complete separation
from me, but that makes every delay unbearable. You have fallen into
the net of a dangerous beauty. If my old love for you were not stronger
than my self-love, there would be nothing I should more earnestly wish
for, or would more eagerly aid by all the means in my power, than your
marriage with this girl. She would justify me, would raise me to honor
again in your eyes, and would force from you the confession that you
had cast away your only true friend in order to nurse a serpent in your
bosom. But I am nobler than it is for my advantage to be: not, I admit,
altogether for your sake. The hope of seeing you return to me is too
tempting for me not to be willing to help you to have this experience.
But to relinquish our child to this stranger--who is said to be as
clever as she is beautiful, and as beautiful as she is heartless--to
give my blessed angel, who hovers near me in my dreams, to this
serpent--"
Julie had involuntarily read the last few lines aloud, as if she
scorned to soften down any accusation that was directed against
herself. Her disgust and indignation would not permit her to finish the
sentence--the letter fell from her hand.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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