Egypt -- Description and travel -- Humor; London (England) -- Description and travel -- Humor; Voyages and travels -- Humor
"Well, I blew myself," reported Mr. Peasley. "And I'll bet a thousand
dollars that Mahmoud gets his ten per cent."
Whereupon Mahmoud smiled--the pensive, patronising smile of a
civilisation five thousand years old looking down on the aboriginal
product of the Western prairies.
On the morning of our departure from Luxor Mahmoud came around for his
letter of recommendation. I had worked for an hour to write something
evasive which would satisfy him and not perjure me too deeply. When he
came to the hotel I gave him the following:--
To Whom It May Concern:--The bearer, Mahmoud, has been our dragoman for
four days and has attended us faithfully at all hours; also, he has
shown us as many temples as we wished to see.
He looked at the paper blankly and said, "I do not read English." At
that Mr. Peasley brightened up. He read the testimonial aloud to
Mahmoud and declared that it was incomplete and unworthy of the subject
matter. In ten minutes he completed the following and the dragoman
took it away with him, highly pleased:--
To Whom It May Concern--Greeting:--The bearer, Mahmoud, is a dragoman
of monumental mendacity and commercial Machiavellism. His simulated
efforts to faithfully serve us and protect our interests have had an
altogether negative effect. Anyone employing him will find him
possessed of moral turpitude and a superlative consciousness of his own
worth. His knowledge of Egyptian history is enormously
inconsequential, while his English vocabulary is amazing in its variety
of verbal catastrophes. We commend him to travellers desirous of
studying the native characteristics of the most geological stratum of
society.
"He has made a lot of trouble for us, and now we've got even by ruining
him," said Mr. Peasley.
It seemed a joke at the time, but later on, when we thought it over, we
felt sorry for Mahmoud and wished we had not taken such a mean
advantage of him. After all is said and done, a man must make a living.
On our way back to Cairo from Assouan we stopped over at Luxor.
Mahmoud, by intuition or through telepathy, knew that we were coming
and met us at the station. He was overjoyed to see us again.
"I showed your letter to a gentleman from the Kingdom of Ohio," said
he, "and it procured for me one of the best jobs I ever had."
IN CAIRO
CHAPTER XX
MR. PEASLEY AND HIS FINAL SIZE-UP OF EGYPT
On the morning of our hurried pack up and get away from Luxor we lost
Mr. Peasley. It was a half-hour before the sailing of the boat, and we
were attempting to lock trunks, call in the porters, give directions as
to forwarding mail, and tip everybody except the proprietor all at the
same time.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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