"We've got to fight it out. The country needs you. It's your bit and
you've got to do it. There's a cure for alcoholism--Dr. Langford's
cure. Are you afraid because you think it may hurt?"
He lay looking up at her with hell's own glimmer in his eyes again:
"You don't know what you're talking about," he said. "You talk of
cures, and I tell you that I'm half dead for a drink right now! And
I'm going to get up and dress and get it!"
The expression of his features and his voice and words appalled her,
left her dumb for an instant. Then she said breathlessly:
"You won't do that!"
"Yes I will."
"No."
"Why not?" he demanded excitedly.
"You owe me something."
"What I said was conventional. I'm NOT grateful to you for saving
the sort of life mine is!"
"I was not thinking of your life."
After a moment he said more quietly: "I know what you mean.... Yes,
I am grateful. Our Government ought to know."
"Then tell me, now."
"You know," he said brutally, "I have only your word that you are
what you say you are."
She reddened but replied calmly: "That is true. Let me show you my
credentials."
From her muff she drew a packet, opened it, and laid the contents on
the bedspread under his eyes. Then she walked to the window and
stood there with her back turned looking out at the falling snow.
After a few minutes he called her. She went back to the bedside,
replaced the packet in her muff, and stood waiting in silence.
He lay looking up at her very quietly and his bruised young features
had lost their hard, sullen expression.
"I'd better tell you all I know," he said, "because there is really
no hope of curing me... you don't understand... my will-power is
gone. The trouble is with my mind itself. I don't want to be
cured.... I WANT what's killing me. I want it now, always, all the
time. So before anything happens to me I'd better tell you what I
know so that our Government can make the proper investigation.
Because what I shall tell you is partly a surmise. I leave it to you
to judge--to our Government."
She drew from her muff a little pad and a pencil and seated herself
on the chair beside him.
"I'll speak slowly," he began, but she shook her head, saying that
she was an expert stenographer. So he went on:
"You know my name--Kay McKay. I was born here and educated at Yale.
But my father was Scotch and he died in Scotland. My mother had been
dead many years. They lived on a property called Isla which belonged
to my grandfather. After my father's death my grandfather allowed me
an income, and when I had graduated from Yale I continued here
taking various post-graduate courses. Finally I went to Cornell and
studied agriculture, game breeding and forestry--desiring some day
to have a place of my own.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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