"I can't let you go," she whispered.
Exasperation almost strangled him and set afire his unhinged brain.
"For Christ's sake!" he cried. "What do you care?"
"I--I care," she stammered--"for Christ's sake ... And yours!"
Things went dark before her eyes.... She opened them after a while
on the sofa where he had carried her. He was standing looking down
at her. ... After a long while the ghost of a smile touched her
lips. In his haunted gaze there was no response. But he said in an
altered, unfamiliar voice: "I'll go if you say so. I'll do all
that's in me to do. ... Will you be there--for the first day or
two?"
"Yes.... All day long.... Every day if you want me. Do you?"
"Yes.... But God knows what I may do to you.... There'll be somebody
to--watch me--won't there?... I don't know what may happen to you
or to myself.... I'm in a bad way, Miss Erith... I'm in a very bad
way."
"I know," she murmured.
He said with an almost childish directness: "Do men always live
through such cures?... I don't see how I can live through it."
She rose from the sofa and stood beside him, feeling still dizzy,
still tremulous and lacking strength.
"Let us win through," she said, not looking at him. "I think you
will suffer more than I shall. A little more.... Because I had
rather feel pain than give it--rather suffer than look on suffering....
It will be very hard for us both, I fear."
Her butler announced luncheon.
CHAPTER IV
WRECKAGE
The man had been desperately ill in soul and mind and body. And now
in some curious manner the ocean seemed to be making him physically
better but spiritually worse. Something, too, in the horizonwide
waste of waters was having a sinister effect on his brain. The grey
daylight of early May, bitter as December--the utter desolation, the
mounting and raucous menace of the sea, were meddling with normal
convalescence.
Dull animosity awoke in a battered mind not yet readjusted to the
living world. What had these people done to him anyway? The sullen
resentment which invaded him groped stealthily for a vent.
Was THIS, then, their cursed cure?--this foggy nightmare through
which he moved like a shade in the realm of phantoms? Little by
little what had happened to him was becoming an obsession, as he
began to remember in detail. Now he brooded on it and looked askance
at the girl who was primarily responsible--conscious in a confused
sort of way that he was a blackguard for his ingratitude.
But his mind had been badly knocked about, and its limping machinery
creaked.
"That meddling woman," he thought, knowing all the time what he owed
her, remembering her courage, her unselfishness, her loveliness.
"Curse her!" he muttered, amid the shadows confusing his wounded
mind.
Then a meaningless anger grew with him: She had him, now! he was
trapped and caged. A girl who drags something floundering out of
hell is entitled to the thing if she wants it. He admitted that to
himself.
But how about that "cure"?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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