There was, despite herself, a touch of disappointment in her tone. The
strange joyous light that had passed over her face on seeing him was the
result of a sudden thought that he loved her so well that he was forced
to come to her.
"No," he answered, "I did not intend to meet you; but the sudden
pleasure of seeing you was so great that I had not the heart to refuse
to come into the cab. And, now you know my secret, you may blame me as
you please. I suppose I am weaker than other men; but I did not err
wilfully. And now the thing is done, it is Dove whom I most consider.
How can I go to her with a lie in every word, and look, and action? Or
how could I tell her the truth? Whichever way one turns, there is
nothing but sadness and misery."
And still there was no word from the young girl opposite.
"I have not even the resource of blaming destiny," he continued. "I
must blame my own blindness. Only you, looking at these things in your
friendly and kindly way, will not blame me further for having indulged
myself a last time in going to see you to-night. You will never have to
complain again—never; and, indeed, I went to-night in a manner to bid
you good-bye—so you won’t be hard on me——"
He was surprised to see, by the gleam of the lamp they passed, that the
girl was covertly sobbing, and that the large soft eyes were full of
tears. At the same moment, however, the cabman pulled up at the corner
of the little square in which Annie Brunel lived; and so they both got
out. When Will turned from paying the cabman, she had walked on a bit
in advance, and had not entered the square. He overtook her, and
offered her his arm. The night was fine and still; a large lambent
planet lay like a golden bell-flower in the soft purple before them, and
a large harvest-moon, bronzed and discoloured, glimmered through the
tall elms on the other side of the way, as it slowly rose up from the
horizon.
"I have something to say to you," he heard the soft low voice say,
"which I had hoped never to have said. It is better it should be said."
"If you have cause to blame me, or if you wish to prevent my seeing you
again, by upbraiding me for having spoken honestly to you, I beg of you
to say nothing that way. It is not needed. You will run no danger
whatever of being annoyed again. I blame myself more than you can; and
since we must part, let us part friends, with a kindly recollection of
each other——"
"Don’t speak like that!" she said, imploringly, with another convulsive
sob, "or you will break my heart. Is it not enough that—that—oh! I
cannot, cannot tell you, and yet I must tell you!"
"What have you to tell me?" he said, with a cold feeling creeping over
him. He began to suspect what her emotion meant; and he shrank from the
suggestion, as from some great evil he had himself committed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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