"You will think me shameless; I cannot help it. You say this is our last
meeting; and I cannot bear to have you go away from me with the thought
that you have to suffer alone. You think I ought to give you my
sympathy, because I am your friend, and you will not be happy. But—but
I will suffer too; and I am a woman—and alone—and whom have I to look
to——?"
He stopped her, and looked down into her face.
"Annie, is this true?" he said, sadly and gravely.
He got no answer beyond the sight of her streaming eyes and quivering
lips.
"Then are we the two wretchedest of God’s creatures," he said.
"Ah, don’t say that," she murmured, venturing to look up at him through
her tears. "Should we not be glad to know that we can think kindly of
each other, without shame? Unhappy, yes!—but surely not the very
wretchedest of all. And you won’t misunderstand me? You won’t think,
afterwards, that it was because I was an actress that I confessed this
to you——?"
Even in such a moment a touch of Bohemianism!—a fear that her mother’s
profession should suffer by her weakness.
"Dearest!" he said, tenderly—"for you are, God help me! my very, very
dearest—we now know each other too well to have to make excuses for our
confidence in each other."
They walked on now quite silently; there was too much for both of them
to think about to admit of speech. As they walked southward, down the
long and sombre thoroughfares, the large moon on their left slowly rose,
and still rose, at every minute losing its ruddy hues, and gaining in
clear, full light. They knew not whither they were going. There was no
passer-by to stare at them; they were alone in the world, with the
solitary houses, and the great moon.
"You have not told me a minute too soon," he said, suddenly, with a
strange exultation in his tone.
"What do you mean?"
"You and I, Annie, love each other. If the future is to be taken from
us, let us recompense ourselves _now_. When you walk back to your house
to-night and the door closes, you and I see each other no more.
To-morrow, and all the to-morrows after that, we are only strangers.
But for the next half-hour—my dearest, my dearest! show me your face,
and let me see what your eyes say!—why should we not forget all these
coming days, and live that half-hour for ourselves? It is but a little
time; the sweetness of it will be a memory to us. Let us be lovers,
Annie!—only for this little time we shall be together, my dearest! Let
us try to imagine that you and I are to be married to-morrow—that all
the coming years we are to be together—that now we have nothing to do
but to yield ourselves up to our love——"
"I am afraid," she said, in a low voice, trembling.
"Why afraid, then?"
"That afterwards the recollection will be too bitter."
"Darling, nothing that you can imagine is likely to be more bitter than
what you and I must bear. Just now, we have a little time our own; let
us forget what is to come, and——"
"Whisper, then," she said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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