In the Arena: Stories of Political Life — John Shaqi
In the Arena: Stories of Political LifeTarkington, Booth
General
In the Arena: Stories of Political Life
Tarkington, Booth
Political fiction, American; United States -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
Mr. Pixley, again seated upon the barrel which he had used for his
interview with Toby, beheld the transfigured face of the young man as
the chestnut vender passed the mouth of the alley, and the
committee-man released from his soul a burdening profanity in the ear
of his companion and confidant, a policeman who would be on duty in
Pixley's precinct on the morrow, and who had now reported for
instructions not necessarily received in a too public rendezvous.
“After I talked to him out here on this very barrel,” said Pixley, his
anathema concluded, “I raised the bid on him; yessir, you kin skin me
fer a dead skunk if I didn't offer him ten dollars and a box of
_cigars_ fer the bunch; and him jest settin' there laughin' like
a plumb fool and tellin' me I didn't need to worry, they'd all vote
Republican fer nothin'! Talked like a parrot: 'Vote a Republican!
Republican eternal!' _Republican_! Faugh, he don't know no more
why he's a Republican than a yeller dog'd know! I went around
to-night, when he was out, thought mebbe I could fix it up with the
others. No, _sir_! Couldn't git nothing out of 'em except some
more parrot-cackle: 'Vote same Petro. All a good Republican!' It's
enough to sicken a man!”
“Do we need his gang bad?” inquired the policeman deferentially.
“I need everybody bad! This is a good-sized job fer me, and I want to
do it right. Throwin' the precinck to Maxim is goin' to do me
_some_ wrong with the Republican crowd, even if they don't git on
that it was throwed; and I want to throw it _good_! I couldn't
feel like I'd done right if I didn't. I've give my word that they'll
git a majority of sixty-eight votes, and that'll be jest twicet as
much in my pocket as a plain majority. And I want them seven Dagoes!
I've give up on _votin_' 'em; it can't be done. It'd make a saint
cuss to try to reason with 'em, and it's no good. They can't be
fooled, neither. They know where the polls is, and they know how to
vote--blast the Australian ballot system! The most that can be done is
to keep 'em away from the polls.”
“Can't you git 'em out of town in the morning?”
“D'you reckon I ain't tried that? _No_, sir! That Dago wouldn't
take a pass to _heaven_! Everything else is all right. Doc
Morgan's niggers stays right here and _votes_. I _know_ them
boys, and they'll walk up and stamp the rooster all right, all
right. Them other niggers, that Hell-Valley gang, ain't that kind; and
them and Tooms's crowd's goin' to be took out to Smelter's ice-houses
in three express wagons at four o'clock in the morning. It ain't goin'
to cost over two dollars a head, whiskey and all. Then, Dan Kelly is
fixed, and the Loo boys. Mike, I don't like to brag, and I ain't
around throwin' no bokays at myself as a reg'lar thing, but I want to
say right, here, there ain't another man in this city--no, nor the
State neither--that could of worked his precinck better'n I have
this. I tell you, I'm within five or six votes of the majority they
set for their big money.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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