She had only two torments; the greatest of which was that she couldn’t,
not even once or twice, touch with him on some individual fact. She
would have given anything to have been able to allude to one of his
friends by name, to one of his engagements by date, to one of his
difficulties by the solution. She would have given almost as much for
just the right chance—it would have to be tremendously right—to show
him in some sharp sweet way that she had perfectly penetrated the
greatest of these last and now lived with it in a kind of heroism of
sympathy. He was in love with a woman to whom, and to any view of whom,
a lady-telegraphist, and especially one who passed a life among hams
and cheeses, was as the sand on the floor; and what her dreams desired
was the possibility of its somehow coming to him that her own interest
in him could take a pure and noble account of such an infatuation and
even of such an impropriety. As yet, however, she could only rub along
with the hope that an accident, sooner or later, might give her a lift
toward popping out with something that would surprise and perhaps even,
some fine day, assist him. What could people mean moreover—cheaply
sarcastic people—by not feeling all that could be got out of the
weather? _She_ felt it all, and seemed literally to feel it most when
she went quite wrong, speaking of the stuffy days as cold, of the cold
ones as stuffy, and betraying how little she knew, in her cage, of
whether it was foul or fair. It was for that matter always stuffy at
Cocker’s, and she finally settled down to the safe proposition that the
outside element was “changeable.” Anything seemed true that made him so
radiantly assent.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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