Acute restless had the effect of sending Dewforth frequently to the
lavatory, not so much for physiological reasons as because there was
no other place to go and he had to go somewhere when the white walls
of the drafting room threatened to crush him. He went as often as he
thought he could without attracting the attention of Mr. Shrank or
eliciting ponderous jocosities from the other workers. After several
visits, however, he did begin to question himself. What drew him to
that bleak refuge again and again? He was not aware of bladder
irritation. He had no infantile obsession about such facilities. Was
he driven by an aggregation of petty forces, each too small to make
sense by itself? Or was there one reason hiding behind a cloud of
small rationalizations? There was a difference in the air in the
lavatory, and in the sound--the undifferentiated background sound
which came from nowhere. Nowhere?
It came through a window.
He had been staring at a window--probably the only one in the
building--and it had failed to register on his mind at the time
because he had not expected it to be there. It was not part of the
habitual pattern. He had seen a window. He had, moreover, looked
through a window. What had he seen? He thought about this, and at the
same time he thought about being sick--administratively sick. He
succeeded in working up a palpable fever and a windy yawning beneath
the diaphragm. Before taking any action he would have to confirm what
he had seen through the window of the lavatory.
On his last trip to the lavatory he climbed up onto the slippery
washbasin and looked through the high window. His position there would
be impossible to explain, of course, if anyone should come in. He was
past caring about that. The unpasteurized air made him a little drunk
and the sound--the immense distant sighing groan like a giant's
whisper--filled his brain. It made him want to expand to meet it
somehow.
Only one immense skeleton foot was visible, but there was no question
about exactly what it was.
No conventional structure would curve upward in that way. There was no
point of reference by which to determine how far away it was, and the
air was blue with haze, giving everything an appearance of remoteness
and of unreality. He had never seen the city from that angle before,
but if what he saw was what he thought it was, how could it have been
so close without his knowing about it before this time? It was a thing
which belonged to vast distances--spatial distances and other kinds of
distance as well. Now it was close, or he was closer to it than he had
ever imagined he would be in his life.
It was accessible.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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