"Two somethings, Madame--two somebodies! My aunt--my excellent and admirable maternal aunt,--and my cousin. We left them sitting under a tree by the river-side, more than half an hour ago. But the fault, Madame, is yours." "How, Monsieur?" "Yes; for in your charming society I forget the ties of family and the laws of politeness. But I hasten to fetch my forgotten relatives. With what pleasure they will share your amiable hospitality! _Au revoir_, Madame. In ten minutes we shall be with you again!" Madame Choucru looked grave. She had not bargained to entertain a party of four; yet she dared not disoblige the _Petit Courier Illustré_. She had no time, however, to demur to the arrangement; for Müller, ingeniously taking her acquiescence for granted, darted out of the room without waiting for an answer. "Miserable man!" I exclaimed, as soon as we were outside the doors, "what will you do now?" "Do! Why, fetch my admirable maternal aunt and my interesting cousin, to be sure." "But you have raised a dinner under false pretences!" "I, _mon cher_? Not a bit of it." "Have you, then, really anything to do with the _Petit Courier Illustré_?" "The Editor of the _Petit Courier Illustré_ is one of the best fellows in the world, and occasionally (when my pockets represent that vacuum which Nature very properly abhors) he advances me a couple of Napoleons. I wipe out the score from time to time by furnishing a design for the paper. Now to-day, you see, I'm in luck. I shall pay off two obligations at once--to say nothing of Monsieur Choucru's six-fold subscription to the P.C., on which the publishers will allow me a douceur of thirty francs. Now, confess that I'm a man of genius!" In less than a quarter of an hour we were all four established round one of Madame Choucru's comfortable little dining-tables, in a snug recess at the farthest end of the salon. Here, being well out of reach of our hostess's black eyes, Müller assumed all the airs of a liberal entertainer. He hung up _ma cousine's_ bonnet; fetched a footstool for _ma tante_; criticised the sauces; presided over the wine; cut jokes with the waiter; and pretended to have ordered every dish beforehand. The stewed kidneys with mushrooms were provided especially for Madame Marotte; the fricandeau was selected in honor of Mam'selle Marie (had he not an innate presentiment that she loved fricandeau?); and as for the soles _au gratin_, he swore, in defiance of probability and all the laws of nature, that they were the very fish we had just caught in the Seine. By-and-by came Monsieur Choucru's famous cheese _soufflé_; and then, with a dish of fruit, four cups of coffee, and four glasses of liqueure, the banquet came to an end. As we sat at desert, Müller pulled out his book and pencilled a rapid but flattering sketch of the dining-room interior, developing a perspective as long as the Rue de Rivoli, and a _mobilier_ at least equal in splendor to that of the _Trois Frères_.