His serene good sense asserted its strength, at no time and in no way,
so signally as in his absolute emancipation from this transient
enslavement; and in his sedate statement of the fact--true in so many
cases where the victim is too stupid to know it or too timorous to own
it--that, “if it drew me out of some vices, it also prevented the growth
of many virtues.”
As is usual, however, with the amatory infirmity, he suffered from that
slight and superficial relapse, later in life, to which I have already
referred. In his daily goings to and fro in Islington, he used to meet
the lovely Quakeress, to whom he never spoke, and whom he adored
silently and from afar. He only knew that she was named Hester, and it
is her name which he has made immortal and her sweet memory which he has
embalmed imperishably in his exquisite verses:
“When maidens such as Hester die.”
And his first, his serious, affair may have justified its existence by
recalling to us his well-known wish that no incident, no untoward
accident even, of his life might have been reversed. So it is, that in
his “New Year’s Eve” he avers that “it is better that I should have
pined away seven of my goldenest years, when I was thrall to the fair
hair and fairer eyes of Alice W----n, than that so passionate a
love-adventure should be lost.”
III.
“I am going to change my lodgings, having received a hint that it would
be agreeable, at Our Lady’s next feast. I have partly fixed upon most
delectable rooms, which look out (when you stand a-tiptoe) over the
Thames and Surrey Hills, at the upper end of King’s Bench Walk, in the
Temple. There I shall have all the privacy of a house without the
encumbrance, and shall be able to lock my friends out, as often as I
desire to hold free converse with any immortal mind--for my present
lodgings resemble a minister’s levée, I have so increased my
acquaintance (as they call ’em) since I have resided in town.” In this
letter, written to Manning early in 1801, three significant points call
for comment. The phrase “in town,” referring to his residence in
Southampton Buildings, shows how his previous abode in Islington was
then in the country, and how the squalid houses of the foul Chapel
Street of to-day have supplanted those pleasant cottages set in
gardens, with rural lanes cutting the fields between. His curt reference
to their “having received a hint” to move, proves how pitifully they
were “marked,” as he had already put it, and how soon even the kindly
Gutch withdrew his offer of shelter. The few words, “I have so increased
my acquaintance” give a wide suggestion of the already growing
attraction of this odd, original young character to all bright minds and
sweet natures with whom he came in contact.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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