In the Guardianship of GodSteel, Flora Annie Webster
General
In the Guardianship of God
Steel, Flora Annie Webster
India -- Fiction; Short stories, English
her first confession that I was her ideal, to her last letter, then in
my breast pocket, the whole fabric of our future lives had been built
by us on our belief in the permanence of this selfsame love of ours.
We could only look in each other's eyes and wonder what was the matter
with the foundations of our round world.
Robbins said I behaved splendidly. In truth I was too much stunned at
first to realise what it actually meant, and then a certain contempt
for them both, especially for the man who came and offered me a shot
at him, made me magnanimous. I merely offered in my turn to be best
man at the wedding, and was only deterred from doing so by the feeling
that it was theatrical, and by Robbins suggesting that I had better
have some ice on the back of my head. He meant well, did Robbins, and
insisted on accompanying me on what was to have been my wedding tour;
for I had my ten days' leave, and I was in no hurry to go back to the
gossiping little station where the bungalow I had furnished for her
lay waiting a mistress.
Yes! Robbins meant well, and by sheer counter-irritation kept me
going. There was a honeymoon off the same ship which came up country
with us stage by stage, and the efforts Robbins made to prevent me
from seeing its bliss were pathetically comic. The bride and
bridegroom wore neat, new, brown-leather shoes, and she had a new
brown-leather handbag, just like one which I had carried for my
_fiancée_ before she explained the situation. As I sate opposite them
I wondered savagely if my face had worn the idiotic smirk of sheer
content visible on the man's, and I tucked my own new brown shoes
under the seat. They looked so forlorn beside Robbins' big boots. For
all that, I combated all condemnation of the delinquents for the first
three days. The only honourable theory of marriage being that based
upon a mutual and romantic love, it would be unjust because of a
single mistake, to blame any one for acting in accordance with a
belief which had made Englishmen and Englishwomen what, thank God,
they were. In fact I was badly, brutally moral, until, coming out into
the hotel verandah during one of our rests by the way, I happened on
the bride and bridegroom looking at the moon.
Then the primeval desire to murder rose up, seized me, and held me.
Why hadn't I taken the scoundrel's offer and killed him? I was a good
shot; and Robbins, as an army doctor, an excellent second. Then I
could have married the bride-widow, or spurned her, as I preferred.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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