That evening at Brotherton's Amen corner, where the gay young blades of the village were gathered--Captain Morton decided that as court herald of the community he should proclaim the banns between Thomas Van Dorn and Laura Nesbit. Naturally he desired a proper entrance into the conversation for his proclamation, but with the everlasting ting-aling and tym-ty-tum of Nathan Perry's mandolin and the jangling accompaniment of Morty's mandolin, opening for the court herald was not easy. Grant Adams was sitting at the opposite end of the bench from the Captain, deep in one of Mr. Brotherton's paper bound books--to-wit, "The Stones of Venice," and young Joe Calvin sadly smoking his first stogy, though still in his knickerbockers, was greedily feasting his eyes upon a copy of the pink Police _Gazette_ hanging upon a rack above the counter. Henry Fenn and Mr. Brotherton were lounging over the cigar case, discussing matters of state as they affected a county attorney and a mayor, when the Captain, clearing his throat, addressed Mr. Brotherton thus: "George--I sold two patent churns to two bridegrooms to-day--eh?" As the music stopped the Captain, looking at Henry Fenn, added reflectively: "Bet you four bits, George, you can't name the other one--what say?" No one said and the Captain took up his solo. "Well--it's this-away: I see what I see next door. And I hear what my girls say. So this morning I sashays around the yard till I meets a certain young lady a standing by the yaller rose bush next to our line fence and I says: 'Good morning madam,' I says, 'from what I see and hear and cogitate,' I says, 'it's getting about time for you to join my list of regular customers.' And she kind of laughs like a Swiss bellringer's chime--the way she laughs; and she pretended she didn't understand. So I broadens out and says, 'I sold Rhody Kollander her first patent rocker the day she came to town to begin housekeeping with. I sold your pa and ma a patent gate before they had a fence. I sold Joe Calvin's woman her first apple corer, and I started Ahab Wright up in housekeeping by selling him a Peerless cooker. I've sold household necessities to every one of the Mrs. Sandses' and 'y gory, madam,' I says, 'next to the probate court and the preacher, I'm about the first necessity of a happy marriage in this man's town,' I says, 'and it looks to me,' I says, 'it certainly looks to me--' And I laughs and she laughs, all redded up and asts: 'Well, what are you selling this spring, Captain?' And I says, 'The Appomattox churn,' and then one word brought on another and she says finally, 'You just tell Tom to buy one for the first of our Lares and Penates,' though I got the last word wrong and tried to sell him Lares and spuds and then Lares and Murphies before he got what I was drivin' at. But I certainly sold the other bridegroom, Henry--eh?"