When I had finished the cigarette I thought a moment, my face in my
hands. A person of tact--ah, but I have no tact; it has been my undoing
on the cardinal occasions of life that I have none. Well, but suppose I
_were_ a person of tact--what would I do? Instantly the answer flashed
into my brain: Knock, by accident, against a table.
So I did. I got up quickly and crossed into the hall and knocked against
a table, at first with gentleness, and then as there was no result with
greater vigour.
My elder guest behind the handkerchief continued to draw deep regular
breaths, but to my joy the younger one stirred and opened her eyes.
'Oh, I do _hope_ I didn't wake you?' I exclaimed, taking an eager step
towards the sofa.
She looked at me vaguely, and fell asleep again.
I went back on to the terrace and lit another cigarette. That was five.
I haven't smoked so much before in one day in my life ever. I felt quite
fast. And on my birthday too. By the time I had finished it there was a
look about the shadows on the grass that suggested tea. Even if it were
a little early the noise of the teacups might help to wake up my guests,
and I felt that a call to tea would be a delicate and hospitable way of
doing it.
I didn't go through the hall on tiptoe this time, but walked naturally;
and I opened the door into the kitchen rather noisily. Then I looked
round at the sofa to see the effect. There wasn't any.
Presently tea was ready, out on the table where we had lunched. At least
six times I had been backwards and forwards through the hall, the last
twice carrying things that rattled and that I encouraged to rattle. But
on the sofa the strangers slept peacefully on.
There was nothing for it now but to touch them. Short of that, I didn't
think that anything would wake them. But I don't like touching guests; I
mean, in between whiles. I have never done it. Especially not when they
weren't looking. And still more especially not when they were complete
strangers.
Therefore I approached the sofa with reluctance, and stood uncertain in
front of it. Poor things, they really were most completely asleep. It
seemed a pity to interrupt. Well, but they had had a nice rest; they had
slept soundly now for two hours. And the tea would be cold if I didn't
wake them up, and besides, how were they going to get home if they
didn't start soon? Still, I don't like touching guests. Especially
strange guests....
Manifestly, however, there was nothing else to be done, so I bent over
the younger one--the other one was too awe-inspiring with her
handkerchief over her face--and gingerly put my hand on her shoulder.
Nothing happened.
I put it on again, with a slightly increased emphasis.
She didn't open her eyes, but to my embarrassment laid her cheek on it
affectionately and murmured something that sounded astonishingly like
Siegfried.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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