This document, having been signed by the Governor, became law, and
thousands of people who were about to leave town for their vacation
were held up at the railway stations. Nature was declared under martial
law. There were many who held that the Act, while admirable in
principle, did not go far enough in practice. For instance, it was
argued, the detestable principle of fermentation was due in great part
to the influence of the sun upon vegetable matter; and it was suggested
that this heavenly body should be abolished. Others, pointing out that
this was a matter that would take some time, advanced the theory that
large tracts of open country should be shielded from the sun's rays by
vast tents or awnings. Bishop Chuff, with his customary perspicacity,
made it plain that one of the chief causes of temptation was hot
weather, which causes immoderate thirst. In order to lessen the amount
of thirst in the population he suggested that it might be feasible to
shift the axis of the earth, so that the climate of the United States
would become perceptibly cooler and the torrid zone would be
transferred to the area of the North Pole. This would have the supreme
advantage of melting all the northern ice-cap and providing the
temperate belts with a new supply of fresh water. It would be quite
easy (the Bishop insisted) to tilt the earth on its axis if everything
heavy on the surface of the United States were moved up to Hudson's
Bay. Accordingly he began to make arrangements to have the complete
files of the Congressional Record moved to the far north in endless
freight trains.
Dunraven Bleak, a good deal exhausted by his efforts to keep all these
matters carefully reported in the columns of the Evening Balloon, was
ready to take his vacation. As a newspaper man he was able to get a
passport to go into the country, on the pretext of observing the
movements of the troops of the Pan-Antis, who were vigorously attacking
the dandelion fields and gooseberry vineyards. He had already sent his
wife and children down to the seashore, in the last refugee train which
had left the city before Nature was declared outlaw.
It was a hot morning, and having wound up his work at the office he was
sitting in a small lunchroom having a shrimp salad sandwich and a glass
of milk. The street outside was thronged with great motor ambulances
rumbling in from the suburbs, carrying the wilted remains of berries
and fruits which had been dug up by the furious legions of Chuff. These
were hastily transported to the municipal cannery where they were made
into jams and preserves with all possible speed, before fermentation
could set in. Bleak saw them pass with saddened eyes.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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