While he was speaking he had gone into the other room, and was bending
the lever down once more; I flew at his throat. But even before I
reached him my motive changed; seizing a Spanish knife that was on the
table, I sought to plunge it in my breast. But, with a quick stroke of
the elbow, as if he had been prepared for the attempt, he dashed the
knife from my hand to the floor, and I sank in despair back into his
arm-chair.
“Yes-s,” said he, with a sort of hiss of content like a long-drawn
sigh of relief. “Yes-s-s--I haf put my mechanik quickly through the
Murder-motif without binding you again, after I had put it back to
sleep.”
“What do you mean?” I said, languidly. How could I ever hope to win
Althea away from this man’s wiles?
“When man’s consciousness awakes from the sleep of the world, its first
motive is Murder,” said he; “you remember the Hebrew myth of Cain?” and
he laughed silently. “Its next is Suicide; its third, Despair. This
time I have put my mechanik quickly through the Murder movement, so
your wish to kill me was just now but momentary.”
There was an evil gleam in his eye as he said this.
“I leafe a dagger on the table, because if I left a pistol the subject
would fire it, and that makes noise. Then at the motion of Suicide
you tried to kill yourself: the suicide is one grade higher than the
murderer. And now, you are in Despair.”
He bent the lever further down and touched a small glass rod.
“And now, I will gife to you--I alone--all the emotions of which
humanity is capable.”
How much time followed, I know not; nor whether it was not all a dream,
only that a dream can hardly be more vivid--as this was--than my life
itself. First, a nightmare came of evil passions; after murder and
suicide and despair came revenge, envy, hatred, greed of money, greed
of power, lust. I say “came,” for each one came on me with all the
force the worst of men can feel. Had I been free, in some other place,
I should inexorably have committed the crimes these evil passions
breed, and there was always some pretext of a cause. Now it was revenge
on Materialismus himself for his winning of Althea Hardy; now it was
envy of his powers, or greed of his possessions; and then my roving
eye fell on that strange picture of his I mentioned before; the face
of the woman now seemed to be Althea’s. In a glance all the poetry,
all the sympathy of my mind or soul that I thought bound me to her had
vanished, and in their place I only knew desire. The doctor’s leer
seemed to read my thoughts; he let the lever stay long at this speed,
and then he put it back again to that strange rhythm of Sleep.
“So--I must rest you a little between times,” he said. “Is my fine poet
convinced?”
But I was silent, and he turned another wheel.
“All these are only evil passions,” said I, “there may well be
something physical in them.”
“Poh--I can gife you just so well the others,” he sneered. “I tell you
why I do not gife you all at once----”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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