I, too, saw him nearly every day. He seemed to be fond of my company;
of playing chess with me, or discussing metaphysics. Sometimes
Althea was present at these arguments, in which I always took the
idealistic side. But the little college had only armed me with Bain
and Locke and Mill; and it may be imagined what a poor defence I
could make with these against the German doctor, with his volumes
of metaphysical realism and his knowledge of what Spinoza, Kant,
Schopenhauer, and other defenders of us from the flesh could say on my
side. Nevertheless, I sometimes appeared to have my victories. Althea
was judge; and one day I well remember, when we were discussing the
localization of emotion or of volition in the brain:
“Prove to me, if you may, even that every thought and hope and feeling
of mankind is accompanied always by the same change in the same part of
the cerebral tissue!” cried I. “Yet that physical change _is_ not
the soul-passion, but the effect of it upon the body; the mere trace in
the brain of its passage, like the furrow of a ship upon the sea.” And
I looked at Althea, who smiled upon me.
“But if,” said the doctor, “by the physical movement I produce the
psychical passion? by the change of the brain-atoms _cause_ the
act of will? by a mere bit of glass-and-iron mechanism set _first_
in motion, I make the prayer, or thought, or love, _follow_, in
plain succession, to the machine’s movement, on every soul that comes
within its sphere--will you then say that the metaphor of ship and wake
is a good one, when it is the wake that _precedes_ the ship?”
“No,” said I, smiling.
“Then come to my house to-night,” said the doctor; “unless,” he added
with a sneer, “you are afraid to take such risks before your skating
party.” And then I saw Althea’s lips grow bloodless, and my heart
swelled within me.
“I will come,” I muttered, without a smile.
“When?” said the professor.
“Now.”
Althea suddenly ran between us. “You will not hurt him?” she said,
appealingly to him. “Remember, oh, remember what he has before him!”
And here Althea burst into a passion of weeping, and I looked in wild
bewilderment from her to him.
“I vill go,” said the doctor to me. “I vill leafe you to gonsole her.”
He spoke in his stronger German accent, and as he went out he beckoned
me to the door. His sneer was now a leer, and he said:
“I vould kiss her there, if I vere you.”
I slammed the door in his face, and when I turned back to Althea her
passion of tears had not ceased, and her beautiful bright hair lay in
masses over the poor, shabby desk. I did kiss her, on her soft face
where the tears were. I did not dare to kiss her lips, though I think
I could have done it before I had known this doctor. She checked her
tears at once.
“Now I must go to the doctor’s,” I said. “Don’t be afraid; he can do me
or my soul no harm; and remember to-morrow night.” I saw Althea’s lips
blanch again at this; but she looked at me with dry eyes, and I left
her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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