English fiction -- 19th century; Victoria, Queen of Great Britain, 1819-1901 -- Fiction
This friend of hers, Jessica Morgan by name, had few personal
attractions. She looked overwrought and low-spirited; a very plain
and slightly-made summer gown exhibited her meagre frame with undue
frankness; her face might have been pretty if health had filled and
coloured the flesh, but as it was she looked a ghost of girlhood, a
dolorous image of frustrate sex. In her cotton-gloved hand she carried
several volumes and notebooks.
‘I’m so glad you’re in,’ was her first utterance, between pants after
hasty walking and the jerks of a nervous little laugh. ‘I want to
ask you something about Geometrical Progression. You remember that
formula--’
‘How can I remember what I never knew?’ exclaimed Nancy. ‘I always hated
those formulas; I couldn’t learn them to save my life.’
‘Oh, that’s nonsense! You were much better at mathematics than I was. Do
just look at what I mean.’
She threw her books down upon a chair, and opened some pages of scrawled
manuscript, talking hurriedly in a thin falsetto.
Her family, a large one, had fallen of late years from a position of
moderate comfort into sheer struggle for subsistence. Jessica, armed
with certificates of examinational prowess, got work as a visiting
governess. At the same time, she nourished ambitions, discernible
perhaps in the singular light of her deep-set eyes and a something
of hysteric determination about her lips. Her aim, at present, was to
become a graduate of London University; she was toiling in her leisure
hours--the hours of exhaustion, that is to say--to prepare herself for
matriculation, which she hoped to achieve in the coming winter. Of
her intimate acquaintances only one could lay claim to intellectual
superiority, and even she, Nancy Lord to wit, shrank from the ordeals of
Burlington House. To become B.A., to have her name in the newspapers, to
be regarded as one of the clever, the uncommon women--for this Jessica
was willing to labour early and late, regardless of failing health,
regardless even of ruined complexion and hair that grew thin beneath the
comb.
She talked only of the ‘exam,’ of her chances in this or that ‘paper,’
of the likelihood that this or the other question would be ‘set.’
Her brain was becoming a mere receptacle for dates and definitions,
vocabularies and rules syntactic, for thrice-boiled essence of history,
ragged scraps of science, quotations at fifth hand, and all the
heterogeneous rubbish of a ‘crammer’s’ shop. When away from her books,
she carried scraps of paper, with jottings to be committed to memory.
Beside her plate at meals lay formulae and tabulations. She went to bed
with a manual and got up with a compendium.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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