In Trust: The Story of a Lady and Her LoverOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
In Trust: The Story of a Lady and Her Lover
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Fiction
There are some names which are regal in their mere simplicity of a few
letters. This signature seemed like Anne Princess, or Anne Queen to the
eyes of the old man who read it. He sat with the letter in his hands for
some time after he had read to the end, not able to trust his voice or
even his old eyes by any sudden movement. The writer all this time sat
at her table moving about the papers. Some of the business letters which
were lying there she read over. One little note she wrote a confused
reply to, which had to be torn up afterwards. She waited--but not with
any tremor--with a still sort of aching deep down in her heart, which
seemed to answer instead of beating. How is it that there is so often
actual pain and heaviness where the heart lies, to justify all our
metaphorical references to it? The brain does not ache when our hearts
are sore; and yet, they say our brains are all we have to feel with. Why
should it be so true, so true, to say that one’s heart is heavy? Anne
asked herself this question vaguely as she sat so quietly moving about
her papers. Her head was as clear as yours or mine, but her
heart--which, poor thing, means nothing but a bit of hydraulic
machinery, and was pumping away just as usual--lay heavy in her bosom
like a lump of lead.
‘My dear child, my dear child!’ the old Rector said at length, rising up
hastily and stumbling towards her, his eyes dim with tears, not seeing
his way. The circumstances were far too serious for his usual
exclamation of ‘God bless my soul!’ which, being such a good wish, was
more cheerful than the occasion required.
‘Do you think that is sufficient?’ said Anne, with a faint smile. ‘You
see I am not ignorant of the foundations. Do you think that will do?’
‘My dear, my dear!’ Mr. Ashley said. He did not seem capable of saying
any more.
With that Anne, feeling very like a woman at the stake--as if she were
tied to her chair, at least, and found the ropes, though they cut her,
some support--took the letter out of his hand and put it into an
envelope, and directed it very steadily to ‘Cosmo Douglas, Esq., Middle
Temple.’ ‘There, that is over,’ she said. The ropes were cutting, but
certainly they were a support. The papers before her were all mixed up
and swimming about, but yet she could see the envelope--four-square--an
accomplished thing, settled and done with; as perhaps she thought her
life too also was.
‘Anne,’ said the old Rector, in his trembling voice, ‘my dear! I know
one far more worthy of you, who would give all the world to know that he
might hope----’
She put out one hand and pushed herself away from the table. The
giddiness went off, and the paper again became perceptible before her.
‘You don’t suppose that I--want anything to do with any man?’ she said,
with an indignant break in her voice.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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