In Trust: The Story of a Lady and Her LoverOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
In Trust: The Story of a Lady and Her Lover
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Fiction
and strange, which touched her lover with an admiration which sometimes
had a little awe in it. His own letters were delightful to Anne, but
they were of a very different character. They were full of genuine love;
for, so far as that went, there was nothing fictitious in his
sentiments; but they were steady-going weekly letters, such as a man
pens on a certain day and sends by a certain post, not only to the
contentment of his own heart, but in fulfilment of what is expected of
him, of what it is indeed his duty to do. This made a great difference;
and Cosmo--who was full of intellectual perceptions and saw more clearly
than, being not so complete in heart as in mind, it was to his own
comfort to see--perceived it very clearly, with an uneasy consciousness
of being ‘not up to’ the lofty strain which was required of him. But
Anne, in her innocence and inexperience, perceived it not. His letters
were delightful to her. The words seemed to glow and shine before her
eyes. If there was a tame expression, a sentence that fell flat, she set
it down to that reticence of emotion, that English incapacity for saying
all that is felt and tendency to depreciate itself, which we all believe
in, and which counts for so much in our estimates of each other. These
letters, as I have said, added an actual something to be done to the
entrancing occupation of ‘thinking over’ all that had happened and was
going to happen. Whenever she had a little time to spare, Anne, with her
heart beating, opened the little desk in which she kept these two or
three precious performances. I think, indeed, she carried the last
always about her, to be re-read whenever an occasion occurred: and it
was with her heart intent upon this gratification, this secret delight
which nobody knew of, that she went into her room, leaving her sister
and stepmother still talking over their tea in the hall. More sweet to
her than the best of company was this pleasure of sitting alone.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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