"I must see him here or elsewhere. He is so like Kazimir--My God, I live
entirely by that memory, Pan Gustav."
Gustav was silent. He was made almost indignant by that blind egotism
of Pani Helena. The drama began to play in him again. She begged him to
do everything to undermine his own happiness. No! to act thus he would
have to be a fool. But on the other hand--it was Helena who made the
prayer. He bit his lips till the blood came, and was silent. Moreover,
something belongs to him even from life. Everything that in him made up
the man opposed her prayers with desperate energy. Meanwhile she
continued to urge,--
"Pan Gustav, you will arrange so that I shall see him? I wish to see
him. Why do you do me such an injustice?"
Cold sweat covered Gustav's forehead; he stretched his hands to his
face, and in a gloomy voice answered,--
"I do you no injustice, but"--here his voice quivered, he made an effort
not to fall at her feet and cry out, "But I love thee, do not torture
me!"--"he does not wish to come here," concluded he, almost inaudibly.
He would have given much to avoid this moment. Helena covered her face
with her hands and dropped into the armchair. Silence continued for a
while, and the rustling of leaves was heard outside the window; inside
the soul of a man was writhing in a conflict with itself. To bring
Yosef, to take Helena from him, was for Gustav to unbridle misfortune.
The struggle was brief; he knelt before Helena, and putting his lips to
her hand, said in a broken voice,--
"I shall do what I can. He will come here. What am I to any one? He will
come, but I cannot tell when--I will bring him myself."
Soon after, in leaving the widow's lodgings, he muttered through his set
teeth,--
"Yes, he will come; but it is not I who will bring him--he will come in
a month--in two months--perhaps I shall be at rest."
An attack of coughing interrupted further meditation. Gustav wandered
through the streets for a long time; when he returned home, it struck
two in the church belfry.
Yosef was sleeping; he was breathing uniformly, quietly; the light of
the lamp fell on his high forehead and open breast. Gustav looked
feverishly at that breast. His eyes gleamed with hatred. He sat thus
about an hour. All at once he trembled, he came to himself. A sensation
was roused in him entirely opposite to any which he had felt up to that
moment, a sensation of hunger; he went to the book-shelves, and taking a
piece of brown bread, fell to eating it hastily.
CHAPTER IV
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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