Incidents of the War: Humorous, Pathetic, and DescriptiveBurnett, Alfred
History
Incidents of the War: Humorous, Pathetic, and Descriptive
Burnett, Alfred
United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Anecdotes
Some three or four stores were broken into, and the most valuable part
of the merchandise abstracted; the contents of the apothecary's shop
were badly injured, and articles of value were taken from at least a
dozen houses; some thousands of dollars' worth of horses, mules, and
"niggers" were taken out of the town and suburbs; two or three
scoundrels abused the persons of as many colored women; and this was
the extent of the "ruin" inflicted upon Athens. I visited it more than
a month ago. I saw no sign of "ruin," dissolution, or decay, and I am
too good a friend of the Athenians not to say that I consider their
beautiful town as being to-day the most flourishing in all North
Alabama; and if a citizen from any other place, especially from
Huntsville, should go to Athens and say otherwise, nothing but the
presence of the military would prevent him from getting a thrashing
upon the spot.
It is an old and trite saying, that "children and fools always tell
the truth." Captain Moar and Lieutenant Wood, of General Steadman's
staff, went out with a full expedition. It was under Colonel Bishop,
of the 2d Minnesota; but these staff officers preceded the party. We
arrived at the proposed field, where we were to bivouac for the night.
A house was near, and Colonel Moar proposed to go there and order
supper. There were four females in the house. All pretended to be glad
to receive us. We brought them sugar and coffee, articles they had not
enjoyed for over a year. While supper was preparing, Lieutenant Wood,
seeing a very pretty little girl, said to her, "Come here, sissy."
The child reluctantly advanced, and as the Lieutenant placed her upon
his knee, the little innocent looked up and said, "I HATE YANKEES!"
The mother tried to catch the eye of the child.
Lieutenant Wood said, "O, no, you don't!"
"Yes, I do," reiterated the child.
"Why, sissy, what makes you hate Yankees?"
"_'Cause mother told me I must_," was the child's reply.
The mother blushed crimson, and said, very confusedly, "WHY, HATTIE! I
NEVER!"
PICKET TALK.
I have often heard pickets chaff one another. Just after the capture
of New Orleans, one of our boys, on picket duty, as light dawned,
discovered a rebel just lighting his breakfast-fire up a ravine. Our
picket called out to the rebel to stop building fires and come over
and take breakfast with him. The rebel replied:
"No, I shan't, You haven't got any coffee."
"Yes, I have," says the Union soldier.
"Well, you haven't any sugar?"
"Yes, we have. We've got _Orleans_."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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