Some sympathetic answer struggled to my lips, though what it was I know
not. The thing I murmured, however, seemed apparently well chosen. He
leaned across and laid his big hand a moment on my own with eloquent
pressure. It was cold as ice. A look of gratitude passed over his
sunburned features. He sighed. And we left the table then and passed
into the inner smoking-room for coffee--a room whose windows gave upon
columned terraces that allowed no view of the encircling desert. He
led the conversation into channels less personal and, thank heaven,
less intensely emotional and mysterious. What we talked about I now
forget; it was interesting but in another key altogether. His old charm
and power worked; the respect I had always felt for his character
and gifts returned in force, but it was the pity I now experienced
that remained chiefly in my mind. For this change in him became more
and more noticeable. He was less impressive, less convincing, less
suggestive. His talk, though so knowledgeable, lacked that spiritual
quality that drives home. He was uncannily less _real_. And I went up
to bed, uneasy and disturbed. ‘It is not age,’ I said to myself, ‘and
assuredly it is not death he fears, although he spoke of disappearance.
It is mental--in the deepest sense. It is what religious people would
call soul. Something is happening to his soul.’
IV
And this word ‘soul’ remained with me to the end. Egypt was taking his
soul away into the Past. What was of value in him went willingly; the
rest, some lesser aspect of his mind and character, resisted, holding
to the present. A struggle, therefore, was involved. But this was being
gradually obliterated too.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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