Availing himself then of the lad’s absorption in his own affairs, he
wandered forth alone upon his sentimental tour of inspection. No ghost
of emotion rose to stalk beside him. That early tragedy, he now saw
clearly, had been no more than youthful explosion of mere physical
passion, wholesome and natural, but due chiefly to propinquity. His
thoughts ran idly on; and he was even congratulating himself upon
escape and freedom when, abruptly, he remembered a phrase Bindy had
used the night before, and stumbled suddenly upon a clue when least
expecting it.
He came to a sudden halt. The significance of it crashed through his
mind and startled him. ‘There are big rushing women ...’ It was the
first reference to the other sex, as evidence of their attraction
for him, Hendricks had ever known to pass his lips. Hitherto, though
twenty years of age, the lad had never spoken of women as though he was
aware of their terrible magic. He had not discovered them as females,
necessary to every healthy male. It was not purity, of course, but
ignorance: he had felt nothing. Something had now awakened sex in him,
so that he knew himself a man, and naked. And it had revolutionised the
world for him. This new life came from the roots, transforming listless
indifference into positive desire; the will woke out of sleep, and
all the currents of his system took aggressive form. For all energy,
intellectual, emotional, or spiritual, is fundamentally one: it is
primarily sexual.
Hendricks paused in his sentimental walk, marvelling that he had not
realised sooner this simple truth. It brought a certain logical meaning
even into the pagan rites upon the mountains, these ancient rites
which symbolised the marriage of the two tremendous elements of wind
and fire, heat and air. And the lad’s quiet, busy mood that morning
confirmed his simple discovery. It involved restraint and purpose. Lord
Ernie was alive. Hendricks would take home with him to those ancestral
halls a vessel bursting with energy--creative energy. It was admirable
that he should witness--from a safe distance--this primitive ceremony
of crude pagan origin. It was the very thing. And the tutor hurried
back to the house among the vineyards, aware that his responsibility
had increased, but persuaded more than ever that his course was
justified.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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