A telegram had told me to come to a town ten miles from the house, so
I was saved the crawling train to the local station, and travelled
down by an express. As soon as we left London the fog cleared off,
and an autumn sun, though without heat in it, painted the landscape
with golden browns and yellows. My spirits rose as I lay back in the
luxurious motor and sped between the woods and hedges. Oddly enough,
my anxiety of overnight had disappeared. It was due, no doubt, to that
exaggeration of detail which reflection in loneliness brings. Frances
and I had not been separated for over a year, and her letters from
The Towers told so little. It had seemed unnatural to be deprived
of those intimate particulars of mood and feeling I was accustomed
to. We had such confidence in one another, and our affection was so
deep. Though she was but five years younger than myself, I regarded
her as a child. My attitude was fatherly. In return, she certainly
mothered me with a solicitude that never cloyed. I felt no desire to
marry while she was still alive. She painted in water-colours with
a reasonable success, and kept house for me; I wrote, reviewed books
and lectured on æsthetics; we were a humdrum couple of quasi-artists,
well satisfied with life, and all I feared for her was that she might
become a suffragette or be taken captive by one of these wild theories
that caught her imagination sometimes, and that Mabel, for one, had
fostered. As for myself, no doubt she deemed me a trifle solid or
stolid--I forget which word she preferred--but on the whole there was
just sufficient difference of opinion to make intercourse suggestive
without monotony, and certainly without quarrelling. Drawing in deep
draughts of the stinging autumn air, I felt happy and exhilarated. It
was like going for a holiday, with comfort at the end of the journey
instead of bargaining for centimes.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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