I touched her shoulder. She turned round slowly, and we looked with a
certain deliberation into each other’s eyes.
‘Fanny,’ I asked, more gravely than I intended, ‘you are not
frightened, are you? Nothing has happened, has it?’
She replied with emphasis, ‘Of course not! How could it--I mean, why
should I?’ She stammered, as though the wrong sentence flustered her a
second. ‘It’s simply--that I have this ter--this dislike of sleeping
alone.’
Naturally, my first thought was how easy it would be to cut our visit
short. But I did not say this. Had it been a true solution, Frances
would have said it for me long ago.
‘Wouldn’t Mabel double-up with you?’ I said instead, ‘or give you an
adjoining room, so that you could leave the door between you open?
There’s space enough, heaven knows.’
And then, as the gong sounded in the hall below for dinner, she said,
as with an effort, this thing:
‘Mabel did ask me--on the third night--after I had told her. But I
declined.’
‘You’d rather be alone than with her?’ I asked, with a certain relief.
Her reply was so gravely given, a child would have known there was more
behind it: ‘Not that; but that she did not really want it.’
I had a moment’s intuition and acted on it impulsively. ‘She feels it
too, perhaps, but wishes to face it by herself--and get over it?’
My sister bowed her head, and the gesture made me realise of a sudden
how grave and solemn our talk had grown, as though some portentous
thing were under discussion. It had come of itself--indefinite as a
gradual change of temperature. Yet neither of us knew its nature, for
apparently neither of us could state it plainly. Nothing happened, even
in our words.
‘That _was_ my impression,’ she said, ‘--that if she yields to it she
encourages it. And a habit forms so easily. Just think,’ she added
with a faint smile that was the first sign of lightness she had yet
betrayed, ‘what a nuisance it would be--everywhere--if everybody was
afraid of being alone--like that.’
I snatched readily at the chance. We laughed a little, though it was a
quiet kind of laughter that seemed wrong. I took her arm and led her
towards the door.
‘Disastrous, in fact,’ I agreed.
She raised her voice to its normal pitch again, as I had done. ‘No
doubt it will pass,’ she said, ‘now that you have come. Of course,
it’s chiefly my imagination.’ Her tone was lighter, though nothing
could convince me that the matter itself was light--just then. ‘And in
any case,’ tightening her grip on my arm as we passed into the bright
enormous corridor and caught sight of Mrs. Franklyn waiting in the
cheerless hall below, ‘I’m _very_ glad you’re here, Bill, and Mabel, I
know, is too.’
‘If it doesn’t pass,’ I just had time to whisper with a feeble attempt
at jollity, ‘I’ll come at night and snore outside your door. After that
you’ll be so glad to get rid of me that you won’t mind being alone.’
‘That’s a bargain,’ said Frances.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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