THE COMIC ENGLISH GRAMMAR A New And Facetious Introduction To The English Tongue By The Author Of The Comic Latin Grammar Embellished With Upwards Of Fifty Characteristic Illustrations By J. Leech. LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS. Page FRONTISPIECE. Frontispiece MINERVA TEACHING x JOHN BULL 12 THE "PRODIGY" 14 "JANE YOU KNOW WHO" 18 MUTES AND LIQUIDS 23 AWKWARD LOUT 24 HA! HA! HA! HO! HO! HO! HE! HE! HE! 27 "O!, WHAT, A, LARK!—HERE, WE, ARE!" 28 ALDIBORONTIPHOSCOPHORMIO AND CHRONONHOTONTHOLOGOS 34 SINGLE BLESSEDNESS 40 APPLE SAUCE 45 MATILDA 48 A SOCIALIST 50 "SHAN'T I SHINE TO NIGHT, DEAR?" 51 JULIA 57 A VERY BAD CASE 59 A SELECT VESTRY 69 SELF-ESTEEM 78 "FACT, MADAM!"—"GRACIOUS, MAJOR!" 82 YEARS OF DISCRETION 89 "I SHALL GIVE YOU A DRUBBING!" 97 [Pg xii]A COMICAL CONJUNCTION 106 "AS WELL AS CAN BE EXPECTED" 108 "HOW'S YOUR INSPECTOR?" 119 "WHAT A DUCK OF A MAN!" 120 THE FLIRT 122 THE CAPTAIN 128 THE DUKE OF WELLINGTON 131 "OH! YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHING MAN!" 137 THE YOUNG GENTLEMAN 139 "VIRTUE'S REWARD" 142 "NOT TO MINCE MATTERS, MISS, I LOVE YOU" 145 THE FRENCH MARQUIS 149 "THE ENGAGED ONES" 153 "THE LADIES!" 156 "HIT ONE OF YOUR OWN SIZE!" 158 ALL FOR LOVE 169 "TALE OF A TUB" 170 "A RESPECTABLE MAN" 177 DOING WHAT YOU LIKE WITH YOUR OWN 180 "WHAT A LITTLE DEAR!" 183 BRUTUS 187 THE TWO DOVES 190 "THE NASTY LITTLE SQUALLING BRAT" 205 "OH, JEMIMA!" 214 LOVE AND MURDER 216 STANDING ON POINTS 218 "WHERE GOT'ST THOU THAT GOOSE?" 219 THE COMIC HISTORY OF ENGLAND Volumes One and Two By Gilbert Abbott A'Beckett With Reproductions of the 200 Engravings by John Leech And Twenty Page Illustrations 1894 CONTENTS PREFACE. THE COMIC HISTORY OF ENGLAND. BOOK I. CHAPTER THE FIRST. THE BRITONS—THE ROMANS—INVASION BY JULIUS CÆSAR. CHAPTER THE SECOND. INVASION BY THE ROMANS UNDER CLAUDIUS—CARACTACUS—BOADICEA—AGRICOLA—-GALGACUS—SEVERUS—VORTIGERN CALLS IN THE SAXONS. CHAPTER THE THIRD. THE SAXONS—THE HEPTARCHY. CHAPTER THE FOURTH. THE UNION OF THE HEPTARCHY UNDER EGBERT. CHAPTER THE FIFTH. THE DANES—ALFRED. CHAPTER THE SIXTH. FROM KING EDWARD THE ELDER TO THE NORMAN CONQUEST. CHAPTER THE SEVENTH. EDMUND IRONSIDES—CANUTE—HAROLD HAREFOOT—HARDICANUTE—EDWARD THE CONFESSOR—HAROLD—THE BATTLE OF HASTINGS. BOOK II. THE PERIOD FROM THE NORMAN CONQUEST TO THE DEATH OF KING JOHN. CHAPTER THE FIRST. WILLIAM THE CONQUEROR. CHAPTER THE SECOND. WILLIAM RUFUS. CHAPTER THE THIRD. HENRY THE FIRST, SURNAMED BEAUCLERC. CHAPTER THE FOURTH. STEPHEN. CHAPTER THE FIFTH. HENRY THE SECOND, SURNAMED PLANTAGENET. CHAPTER THE SIXTH. RICHARD THE FIRST, SURNAMED COUR DE LION. CHAPTER THE SEVENTH. JOHN, SURNAMED SANSTERRE, OR LACKLAND.