Exaggerated statements about widows. Easterns naturally
demonstrative in their grief. The conservative widow.
Influential and wealthy widows. Remarriage of widows. Hindu
Widows' Home; its aim and object; a visit to the Home; the
daily routine; impressions made by the visit. The True
Light. The future of the widows. Custom a hindrance to
progress. The effect of caste. The Indian daughter-in-law;
not necessarily in bondage. A kind-hearted mother-in-law.
There has been a good deal of false sentiment expended, and
exaggerated statements made, concerning the condition of widows in
India. The condition of a widow is of necessity a trying one in any
country. She often has to exchange a position of affluence and
importance for one of poverty and obscurity. The Indian widow is at
any rate sure of a home and support from her relations, which is not
always the case with the English widow. The stripping of the
ornaments, the shaving of the head, the shabby garments, the meagre
food, the hard work, and the despised position of the Indian widow has
often been described in moving terms. But the Western widow also lays
aside her ornaments during her time of mourning, and the shaving of
the head is a natural Eastern outward symbol of sorrow. The Hindu man,
who invariably wears a moustache, shaves it off when he loses some
near relation, such as a parent or a brother. The plain white garments
which the Indian widow usually wears have nothing of the dreary
severity of the garb of the veiled English widow, to whom also scanty
food, hard work, and humble station often becomes her portion from
necessity.
Easterns are always demonstrative in their expressions of grief. Hence
the removal of the ornaments, the cutting off the hair, etc., is
performed in a demonstrative way. But the Hindu widow would not wish
it otherwise; and although all the ceremonies may not be exactly
congenial to her, she is at any rate a person of importance even in
her humiliation, and that is a great compensation to her. If she has
money--and some Hindu husbands leave all their wealth to their
wives--she will find herself surrounded by affectionate relations, all
of them ready to undertake the management of her property, and each of
them warning her of the necessity of being on her guard not to trust
any of the others.
At a Hindu Widows' Home, to be described presently, the inmates dress
as they like, wear what ornaments they please, and let their hair
grow. Someone visiting the Home was surprised to see a widow with her
head shaved, and wearing the unadorned white garments. On inquiry, it
transpired that this woman refused to avail herself of her freedom,
and that she preferred to bear the outward marks of widowhood out of
respect to the memory of her husband.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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