France -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction; Women -- France -- Fiction
"Be sure, be sure, my dear love, that I have reason to be depressed and
disappointed. You are heroic, you laugh at everything, you insist that I
must not grieve. Ah! how I crave your gentle words, your sweet glances,
to sustain my courage! But, by a monstrous fatality, these days that I
hoped to pass freely at your feet, have brought me nothing but a
constraint that grows ever more galling.
"Say a word, Indiana, so that we may be alone at least an hour, that I
may weep upon your white hands and tell you all that I suffer, and that
a word from you may console and comfort me.
"And then, Indiana, I have a childish caprice, a genuine lover's
caprice. I would like to enter your room. Oh! don't be frightened, my
gentle creole! It is my bounden duty not only to respect you, but to
fear you; that is the very reason why I would like to enter your room,
to kneel in that place where you were so angry with me, and where, bold
as I am, I dared not look at you. I would like to prostrate myself
there, to pass a meditative, happy hour there; I would crave no other
favor, Indiana, than that you should place your hand on my heart and
cleanse it of its crime, pacify it if it beats too rapidly, and give it
your confidence once more if you find me worthy of you at last. Yes! I
would like to prove to you that now I am worthy, that I know you through
and through, that I worship you with an adoration as pure and holy as
ever maiden conceived for her Madonna! I would like to be sure that you
no longer fear me, that you esteem me as much as I revere you; I would
like to live an hour as angels live, with my head upon your heart. Tell
me, Indiana, may I? One hour--the first, perhaps the last!
"It is time to forgive me, Indiana, to give me back your confidence, so
cruelly snatched from me, so dearly redeemed. Are you not satisfied with
me? Have I not passed six months behind your chair, confining my desires
to a glance at your snow-white neck through the curls of your black
hair, as you leaned over your work, to a breath of the perfume which
emanates from you and which the air from the window at which you sit
brings faintly to my nostrils? Does not such submission deserve the
reward of a kiss? a sister's kiss, if you will, a kiss on the forehead?
I will remain true to our agreements, I swear it. I will ask for
nothing. But, cruel one, will you grant me nothing? Are you afraid of
yourself?"
Madame Delmare went to her room to read this letter; she replied to it
instantly, and handed him the reply with a key to the park-gate, which
he knew too well.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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