France -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction; Women -- France -- Fiction
I shall die of it perhaps, but I would rather die than
descend so low as to be your mistress."
Raymon was sorely embarrassed as to how he should reply. This pride
offended him; he had never supposed hitherto that a woman who had thrown
herself into his arms could resist him thus outspokenly and give reasons
for her resistance.
"She does not love me," he said to himself; "her heart is dry, she is
naturally overbearing."
From that moment he loved her no longer. She had ruffled his
self-esteem; she had disappointed his hope of triumph, defeated his
anticipations of pleasure. In his eyes she was no more than Noun had
been. Poor Indiana! who longed to be so much more! Her passionate love
was misunderstood, her blind confidence was spurned. Raymon had never
understood her; how could he have continued to love her?
Thereupon he swore, in his irritation, that he would triumph over her;
he swore it not from a feeling of pride but in a revengeful spirit. It
was no longer a matter of snatching a new pleasure, but of punishing an
insult; of possessing a woman, but of subduing her. He swore that he
would be her master, were it for but a single day, and that then he
would abandon her, to have the satisfaction of seeing her at his feet.
On the spur of the moment he wrote this letter:
"You want me to promise. Foolish girl, can you think of such a thing? I
will promise whatever you choose, because I can do nothing but obey you;
but, if I break my promises I shall be guilty neither to God nor to you.
If you loved me, Indiana, you would not inflict these cruel torments on
me, you would not expose me to the risk of perjuring myself, you would
not blush at the thought of being my mistress. But you think that in my
arms you would be degraded----"
He felt that his bitterness was making itself manifest, despite his
efforts; he tore up this sheet, and, after taking time to reflect, began
anew:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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