France -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction; Women -- France -- Fiction
"You admit that you nearly lost your reason last night; for my part, I
lost mine altogether. I was culpable--but no, I was mad! Forget those
hours of suffering and excitement. I am calm now; I have reflected; I am
still worthy of you. Bless you, my angel from heaven, for saving me from
myself, for reminding me how I ought to love you. Now, Indiana, command
me! I am your slave, as you well know. I would give my life for an hour
in your arms; but I can suffer a whole lifetime to obtain a smile from
you. I will be your friend, your brother, nothing more. If I suffer, you
shall not know it. If my blood boils when I am near you, if my breast
takes fire, if a cloud passes before my eyes when I touch your hand, if
a sweet kiss from your lips, a sisterly kiss, scorches my forehead, I
will order my blood to be calm, my brain to grow cool, my mouth to
respect you. I will be gentle, I will be submissive, I will be
unhappy,--if you will be the happier therefor and enjoy my agony,--if
only I may hear you tell me again that you love me! Oh! tell me so! give
me back your confidence and my joy! tell me when we shall meet again. I
know not what result the events of last night may have had; how does it
happen that you do not refer to the subject, that you leave me in an
agony of suspense? Carle saw you all three walking together in the park.
The colonel seemed ill or depressed, but not angry. In that case that
Ralph did not betray us! What a strange man! But to what extent can we
rely on his discretion; and how shall I dare show myself at Lagny now
that our fate is in his hands? But I will dare. If it is necessary to
stoop so low as to implore him, I will silence my pride, I will overcome
my aversion, I will do anything rather than lose you. A word from you
and I will burden my life with as much remorse as I am able to carry;
for you I would abandon my mother herself; for you I would commit any
crime. Ah! if you realized the depth of my love, Indiana!"
The pen fell from Raymon's hands; he was terribly fatigued, he was
falling asleep. But he read over his letter to make sure that his ideas
had not suffered from the influence of drowsiness; but it was impossible
for him to understand his own meaning, his brain was so affected by his
physical exhaustion. He rang for his servant, bade him go to Lagny
before daybreak; then slept that deep, refreshing sleep whose tranquil
delights only those who are thoroughly satisfied with themselves really
know. Madame Delmare had not retired; she was unconscious of fatigue and
passed the night writing. When she received Raymon's letter she answered
it in haste:
"Thanks, Raymon, thanks! you restore my strength and my life. Now I can
dare anything, endure anything; for you love me, and the most severe
tests do not alarm you. Yes, we will meet again--we will defy everybody.
Ralph may do what he will with our secret. I am no longer disturbed
about anything since you love me; I am not even afraid of my husband.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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