France -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction; Women -- France -- Fiction
When Raymon woke, a sort of half light was shining through the cracks of
the shutters, and he lay a long while without moving, absorbed by a
vague feeling of surprise and gazing at the room in which he was and the
bed in which he had slept, as if they were a vision of his slumber.
Everything in Madame Delmare's chamber had been put in order. Noun, who
had fallen asleep the sovereign mistress of that place, had waked in the
morning a lady's-maid once more. She had taken away the flowers and put
the remains of the collation out of sight; the furniture was all in
place, nothing suggested the amorous debauch of the night, and Indiana's
chamber had resumed its innocent and virtuous aspect.
Overwhelmed with shame, he rose and attempted to leave the room, but he
was locked in; the window was thirty feet from the ground, and he must
needs remain in that remorse-laden atmosphere, like Ixion on his wheel.
Thereupon he fell on his knees with his face toward that disarranged,
tumbled bed which made him blush.
"O Indiana!" he cried, wringing his hands, "how I have outraged you! Can
you ever forgive me for such infamous conduct? Even if you should
forgive me, I can never forgive myself. Resist me now, my gentle,
trustful Indiana; for you do not know the baseness and brutality of the
man to whom you would surrender the treasures of your innocence! Repulse
me, trample on me, for I have not respected the sanctuary of your sacred
modesty; I have befuddled myself with your wine like a footman, sitting
beside your maid; I have sullied your spotless robe with my accursed
breath, and your chaste girdle with my infamous kisses on another's
breast; I have not shrunk from poisoning the repose of your lonely
nights, and from shedding, even upon this bed, which your husband
himself respected, the influences of seduction and adultery! What safety
will you find henceforth behind these curtains whose mysteries I have
not shrunk from profaning? What impure dreams, what bitter and consuming
thoughts will cling fast to your brain and wither it! What phantoms of
vice and shamelessness will crawl upon the virginal linen of your couch!
And your sleep, pure as a child's--what chaste divinity will care to
protect it now? Have I not put to flight the angel who guarded your
pillow? Have I not thrown your alcove open to the demon of lust? Have I
not sold him your soul? And will not the insane passion which consumes
the vitals of this lascivious creole cling to yours, like Dejanira's
robe and gnaw at them! Oh! miserable wretch! miserable, guilty wretch
that I am! if only I could wash away with my blood the stain I have left
on this couch!"
And Raymon sprinkled it with his tears.
At that moment Noun returned, in her neckerchief and apron; she fancied,
when she saw Raymon kneeling, that he was praying. She did not know that
society people do not pray. She stood waiting in silence, until he
should deign to notice her presence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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