He knew too well how far she was
removed from him by more than distance, and bravely contented himself
with merely giving her such news of the farm and her former home
surroundings as might awaken her momentary interest without recalling
too many old memories to her mind.
She seemed, and to a very great extent she was, unconscious of the
interest and curiosity both her work and her personality excited--the
more so now as the glamour and delight of her creative imagination had
been obscured by what she considered a far greater and more lasting
glory--that of love!--the golden mirage of a fancied sun, which for a
time had quenched the steadier shining of eternal stars. Since that
ever memorable night when he had suddenly stormed the fortress of her
soul, and by the mastery of a lover's kiss had taken full possession,
Amadis de Jocelyn had pursued his "amour" with admirable tact,
cleverness and secrecy. He found a new and stimulating charm in making
love to a tender-hearted, credulous little creature who seemed truly
"of such stuff as dreams are made of"--and to a man of his particular
type and temperament there was an irresistible provocation to his
vanity in the possibility of being able to lure her gradually and
insidiously down from the high ground of intellectual ambition and
power to the low level of that pitiful sex-submission which is
responsible for so much more misery than happiness in this world.
Little by little, under his apparently brusque and playful, but really
studied training, she began to think less and less of her work,--the
books she had loved to read and refer to, insensibly lost their
charm,--she went reluctantly to her desk, and as reluctantly took up
her pen,--what she had written already, appeared to her utterly
worthless,--and what she attempted to write now was to her mind poor
and unsatisfying. She was not moved by the knowledge, constantly
pressed upon her, that she was steadily rising, despite herself, to the
zenith of her career in such an incredibly swift and brilliant way as
to be the envy of all her contemporaries,--she was hardly as grateful
for her honours as weary of them and a little contemptuous. What did it
all matter to her when half of her once busy working mornings were now
often passed in the studio of Amadis de Jocelyn! He was painting a
full-length portrait of her--a mere excuse to give her facilities for
visiting him, and ensure his own privacy and convenience in receiving
her--and every day she went to him, sometimes late in the afternoons as
well as the mornings, slipping in and out familiarly and quite
unnoticed, for he had given her a key to the private door of his
studio, which was reached through a small, deeply shaded garden,
abutting on an old-fashioned street near Holland Park. She could enter
at any time, and thought it was the customary privilege accorded by an
artist to his sitter, while it saved the time and trouble of the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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