"Dear little goose, you will not die!" he said--"For heaven's sake have
done with all this sentimental talk!--I am not a man who can tolerate
it. You are such a pleasant creature when you are cheerful and
self-possessed,--so bright and clever and companionable--and there is
no reason why we shouldn't make love to each other again as often as we
like,--but change and novelty are good for both of us. Come!--kiss
me!--be a good child--and let us part friends!"
He approached her,--there was a smile on his lips--a smile in which
lurked a suspicion of mockery as well as victorious self-satisfaction.
She saw it--and swiftly there came swooping over her brain the horrible
realisation of the truth--that it was all over!--that never, never
again would she be able to dwell on the amorous looks and words and
love-phrases of HER "Amadis de Jocelyn!"--that no happy future was in
store for her with him--that he had no interest whatever in her
cherished memories of Briar Farm, and that he would never care to
accept the right of dwelling there even if she secured it for
him,--moreover, that he viewed her very work with indifference, and had
no concern as to her name or fame--so that everything--every pretty
fancy, every radiant hope, every happy possibility was at an end. Life
stretched before her dreary as the dreariest desert--for her, whose
nature was to love but once, there was no gleam of light in all the
world's cruel darkness! A red mist swam before her eyes--black clouds
seemed descending upon her and whirling round about her--she looked
wildly from right to left, as though seeking to escape from some
invisible pursuer. Startled at her expression Jocelyn tried to hold
her--but she shook him off. She made a few unsteady steps along the
floor.
"What is it?" he said--"Innocent--don't stare like that!"
She smiled strangely and nodded at him--she was fingering the plant of
marguerite daisies that stood in its accustomed place between the easel
and the wall. She plucked a flower and began hurriedly stripping off
its petals.
"'Il m'aime--un peu!--beaucoup--passionement--pas du tout!' Pas du
tout!" she cried--"Amadis! Amadis de Jocelyn! You hear what it says?
Pas du tout! You promised it should never come to that!--but it has
come!"
She threw away the stripped flower, ... there was a quick hot throbbing
behind her temples--she put up her hands--then all suddenly a sharp
involuntary scream broke from her lips. He sprang towards her to seize
and silence her--she stuffed her handkerchief into her mouth.
"I'm sorry!" she panted--"Forgive!--I couldn't help
it!--Amadis--Amadis!--"
And she flung herself against his breast. Her eyes, large and
feverishly brilliant, searched his face for any sign of tenderness, and
searched in vain.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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