Ireland in the Days of Dean Swift (Irish Tracts, 1720 to 1734)Swift, Jonathan
History
Ireland in the Days of Dean Swift (Irish Tracts, 1720 to 1734)
Swift, Jonathan
Ireland -- History -- 18th century; Swift, Jonathan, 1667-1745
A very worthy person, a true lover of his country, and whose virtue I
highly esteem, was lately pleased, in discoursing on this matter, to offer
a refinement upon my scheme. He said, that many gentlemen of this kingdom,
having of late destroyed their deer, he conceived that the want of venison
might be well supplied by the bodies of young lads and maidens, not
exceeding fourteen years of age, nor under twelve; so great a number of
both sexes in every country being now ready to starve for want of work and
service; and these to be disposed of by their parents, if alive, or
otherwise by their nearest relations. But, with due deference to so
excellent a friend, and so deserving a patriot, I cannot be altogether in
his sentiments; for as to the males, my American acquaintance assured me,
from frequent experience, that their flesh was generally tough and lean
like that of our schoolboys, by continual exercise, and their taste
disagreeable; and to fatten them would not answer the charge; and besides,
it is not improbable that some scrupulous people might be apt to censure
such a practice (although indeed very unjustly), as a little bordering
upon cruelty; which, I confess, has always been with me the strongest
objection against any project, how well soever intended.
But in order to justify my friend, he confessed that this expedient was
put into his head by the famous Psalmanazar, a native of the island
Formosa, who came from thence to London above twenty years ago; and in
conversation told my friend, that in his country, when any young person
happened to be put to death the executioner sold the carcass to persons of
quality as a prime dainty; and that in his time the body of a plump girl
of fifteen, who was crucified for an attempt to poison the emperor, was
sold to his imperial Majesty's prime minister of state, and other great
mandarins of the court, in joints from the gibbet, at four hundred crowns.
Neither indeed can I deny, that if the same use were made of several
plump young girls in this town, who without one single groat to their
fortunes, cannot stir abroad without a chair, and appear at playhouse and
assemblies in foreign fineries which they will never pay for, the kingdom
would not be the worse.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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