Irish Wonders: The Ghosts, Giants, Pooka, Demons, Leprechawns, Banshees, Fairies, Witches, Widows, Old Maids, and other Marvels of the Emerald Isle — John Shaqi
Irish Wonders: The Ghosts, Giants, Pooka, Demons, Leprechawns, Banshees, Fairies, Witches, Widows, Old Maids, and other Marvels of the Emerald IsleMcAnally, D. R. (David Russell)
General
Irish Wonders: The Ghosts, Giants, Pooka, Demons, Leprechawns, Banshees, Fairies, Witches, Widows, Old Maids, and other Marvels of the Emerald Isle
"’God bechune us an’ harm,’ says the ould King, ’sure d’ ye think it’s
makin’ fun av ye I am, an’ me spindin’ more than tin pounds yestherday fur
whishkey an the shports? Faix, she’s gone,’ says he.
"’Where to?’ says they.
"’Divil a know I know,’ says he, wid the face av him gettin’ red, an’ wid
that word they all wint away in a tarin’ rage wid him, fur they consaved,
an’ shmall blame to thim, that he had her consaled in the coort an’ was
shtrivin’ to chate thim.
"An’ they wint home an’ got their armies, an’ come back wid ’em that
night, an’ while the ould King an’ his min were all ashlape they made
these piles av airth to take the city whin the day ’ud break.
"Whin the ould King riz an’ tuk a walk an the roof wid his shlippers, sure
phat ’ud he see but banners a-wavin’, soords a-flashin’, an’ the ears av
him was deefened wid the thrumpets. ’Bad scran to the idjits,’ says he;
’phat’s that they’re afther?’ says he. ’Isn’t there more nor wan woman in
the worruld, that they’re makin’ a bother afther Bridget?’ So wid that he
ordhered his min to get ready wid their waypons, an’ before the battle ’ud
begin, he wint out to thry an’ make a thraty.
"While they were a-talkin’, up comes wan av the King’s tinants, wid a
donkey an’ a load av sayweed fur the King’s gârden, that he’d been to
Galway afther. ’God save ye,’ says he, a-touchin’ his cap; ’where is the
six Kings?’
"’An’ phat d’ye want, ye blaggârd?’ says they, lookin’ lofty.
"’I’ve a message fur yez,’ says he, ’from the young Princess,’ an’ whin
they heard him shpake, they all stopped to listen.
"’She sent her respicts,’ says he, ’an’ bid me tell yez that she was
afther kapin’ her word an’ lettin’ yer Honors know who she was goin’ to
marry. It’s the King av Galway that’s in it, if it’s plazin’ to ye, an’
she says she’ll sind yez a bit av the cake. I met her lasht night in the
road ridin’ wid him on a câr an’ had a bundle undher her arrum. Divil a
taste av a lie’s in it entirely.’
"Bad cess to the gurrul, it was thrue fur him, fur she had run away. But,
my dear, it was as good as the theayter to see the six young Kings an’ the
ould King, a-lookin’ at aitch other as stupid as a jackass, all as wan as
the castle ’ad ’a’ fallen on thim. But they was sinsible young fellys, an’
seen the Princess had desaved thim all complately.
[Illustration: "The Princess had disayved thim all complately"]
"’Bad scran to the gurrul,’ says they, ’an’ it’s the blessed fools we was
fur belavin’ her.’ Thin they come to talk to aitch other, an’ wan says,
’Sure she thought most av me, fur she towld me she hoped I’d bate yez,’
says he. ’Begob, she said to me that same,’ says the other wans, an’ they
stud, scrotchin’ the heads av thim an’ disconsarted intirely.
"’An’ phat’s the good av fightin,’ says the ould King, ’bein’ as we’re all
in the thrap at wanst?’
"’Thrue fur ye,’ says they. ’We’ll dispinse widout her. We’ll have it out
wid the King o’ Galway,’ says they.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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